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Schools are spending more time teaching the traditional subjects such as History. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills which can help students to get a job. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Schools are spending more time teaching the traditional subjects such as History. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills which can help students to get a job. 3EqY
Some people argue that schools spend too much time to teach subjects like history; in their opinion, it is more important to impart practical skills that can help students find good jobs in future. I completely agree with this opinion because learning skills that improve the job worthiness of students is far more important than learning history. First and foremost, studying these job-oriented skills helps students to be more confident in their fields. Consequently, they find it easy to get employed and perform well in their professions. In other words, the more they learn, the more they can apply that knowledge to their practical life. For instance, courses that emphasise on practical or vocational skills better equip students for the workplace. By contrast, those who major in history have fewer job opportunities. While history is certainly essential to learn about our past, it is not a subject that prepares students for the workplace and as such it should not be given too much importance in the curriculum. Likewise, we are now living in an age where communication skills have become quite important. Still, very few schools focus on developing these skills. Consequently, when students enter the workplace they struggle to efficiently communicate with their teammates and this hurts their productivity. Obviously, teaching skills that make students more employable is far more important than teaching them about the past. To conclude, it is vital that educational institutions, especially high schools, add some skill learning courses into the curriculum and reduce the emphasis on subjects like history and geography because the ultimate aim of education is equipping students with skills required to earn a livelihood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that schools spend too much time to teach subjects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
; in their opinion, it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to impart practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the job worthiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than learning history.

First
and foremost, studying these job-oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more confident in their fields.
Consequently
, they find it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed and perform well in their professions.
In other words
, the more they learn, the more they can apply that knowledge to their practical life.
For instance
, courses that
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
on practical or vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
better equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the workplace. By contrast, those who major in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
have fewer job opportunities. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
certainly
essential to learn about our past, it is not a subject that prepares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the workplace and as such it should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
too much importance in the curriculum.

Likewise
, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living in an age where communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have become quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
Still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few schools focus on developing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Consequently
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enter the workplace they struggle to
efficiently
communicate with their teammates and this hurts their productivity.
Obviously
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more employable is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than teaching them about the past.

To conclude
, it is vital that educational institutions,
especially
high schools,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
learning courses into the curriculum and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emphasis on subjects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and geography
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ultimate aim of education is equipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required to earn a livelihood
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IELTS essay Schools are spending more time teaching the traditional subjects such as History. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills which can help students to get a job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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