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School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School should not force children to learn a foreign language. 19m7
In todays global village, Learning new language not only help us to learn about new culture but also benefits professionally. Therefore kids at school must taught different language, On the other hand I totally disagree with forced learning with respect to any curriculum. A number of arguments surround my opinion. One of the main reason is that education being imposed on kids at school is very hostile. Kids will loose interest, furthermore they will feel hostile. They will feel like some burden is put on them hence will give excuses to avoid very same experience. For example during my school time I didn't like music I was more of into sports, I used to make every excuse to avoid attending that class. If kids are given freedom of choice, They will get more involved in learning they will show their enthusiasm and feel motivated to learn. They won't eel pressured. For example, I loved sports and when i got opportunity to attend basketball classes I enrolled myself without thinking for once, I was so excited to be part of my interest. To conclude, Learning should natural, kids should have choice to what they want to learn so that education is interesting and full of joy, It should prepare them for future not scare them of learning.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
global village,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
new language not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to learn about new culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefits
professionally
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
language,
On the other hand
I
totally
disagree with forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
with respect to any curriculum. A number of arguments surround my opinion.

One of the main reason is that education
being imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at school is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hostile.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
will
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
interest,
furthermore
they will feel hostile. They will feel like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
burden
is put
on them
hence
will give excuses to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
same experience.
For example
during my school time I didn't like music I was more of into sports, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every excuse to avoid attending that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom of choice, They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their enthusiasm and feel motivated to learn. They
The word 'eel' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
won't eel
pressured.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
sports and when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
opportunity to attend basketball classes I enrolled myself without thinking for once, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to be part of my interest.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
The word 'natural' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should natural
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should have choice to what they want to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that education is interesting and full of joy, It should prepare them for future not scare them of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.

IELTS essay School should not force children to learn a foreign language.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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