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School children are using computers more than ever. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

School children are using computers more than ever. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? qQEeG
It is widely thought, that pupil are the most frequent users of computers. For the last 20 years technologies like computers contributed the best values for children. As they developed mobility and deep study. On the other hand, there is also drawbacks for health. Comparing kids from the past and now they are absolutely different generations. Nowadays, pupil can not imagine studying without gadgets. Speed and meaningful information is on the first place. This generation needs to get answers now. Hardly no one goes to the library for studying and spend time. As the computers are able to contain a lot of right datas, it also gives possibilities to save time and being mobile. World’s one of the biggest priorities is a children’s health, especially of those who study at school. According to the investigation of BBC about physical health, computers affect to sides, body construction, brain activity and psychological health. That is why using a computer should be limited among children.  In conclusion, computer skills are prominent for young people, by developing them people should not forget to develop their also their children’s mental health.
It is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that pupil is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that pupil are
the most frequent users of computers. For the last 20 years technologies like computers contributed the best values for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As they developed mobility and deep study.
On the other hand
, there is
also
drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Comparing kids from the past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. Nowadays, pupil can not imagine studying without gadgets. Speed and meaningful information is on the
first
place. This generation needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
answers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
The adverb 'Hardly' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Hardly
no one goes to the library for studying and spend time. As the computers are able to contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
right
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
, it
also
gives possibilities to save time and being mobile. World’s one of the biggest priorities is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
especially
of those who study at school. According to the investigation of BBC about physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, computers affect to sides, body construction, brain activity and psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
That is
why using a computer should
be limited
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.  
In conclusion
, computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are prominent for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, by developing them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not forget to develop their
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay School children are using computers more than ever. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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