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Samples / Band 5.5 Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Samples / Band 5. 5 that celebrities are paid far too much money? nGwn
In the modern world, celebrities give a huge amount of money for their act, performance, or playing football. Many people think that they deserve that because of their talents and hard work. I disagree and In this essay, I will indicate the reasons for my view Celebrities have been role-models for people for many years and a part of society have tried to follow what they do or what they consume, due to this fact, renowned people can lead the world to join charities or be part of earth conservative, but in another side, by giving them a large amount of money, they have this potential to promoting the consumerism that means humans are more likely to buy things that are not essential and merely for seeming luxury. The other reason is, that when we just appreciate an actor, singer or sportsman, children would not like to spend their time for other fields of knowledge, like science or social studies, and also, they think the only way for giving others regards is to be renowned. They also will lose the meaning of life due to believing that more money and fame can help them to touch happiness and real life, for instance, in the U. S, scholar acknowledges that, for years girls trying to achieve a body like an actress because they thought just by acting in this way they could earn fame and money. To sum up, although celebrities are talented, paying more for them has bad consequences for the population because people and especially children will lose their way of finding happiness and even the meaning of life.
In the modern world, celebrities give a huge amount of money for their act, performance, or playing football.
Many
people
think
that they deserve that
because
of their talents and
hard
work. I disagree and In this essay, I will indicate the reasons for my
view


Celebrities have been role-models for
people
for
many
years and a part of society have tried to follow what they do or what they consume, due to this fact, renowned
people
can lead the world to
join
charities or be part of earth conservative,
but
in another side, by giving them a large amount of money, they have this potential to promoting the consumerism that means humans are more likely to
buy
things that are not essential and
merely
for seeming luxury.

The other reason is, that when we
just
appreciate an actor, singer or sportsman, children would not like to spend their time for other fields of knowledge, like science or social studies, and
also
, they
think
the
only
way for giving others regards is to
be renowned
. They
also
will lose the meaning of life due to believing that more money and fame can
help
them to touch happiness and real life,
for instance
, in the U. S, scholar acknowledges that, for years girls trying to achieve a body like an actress
because
they
thought
just
by acting in this way they could earn fame and money.

To sum up, although celebrities
are talented
, paying more for them has
bad
consequences for the population
because
people
and
especially
children will lose their way of finding happiness and even the meaning of life.
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IELTS essay Samples / Band 5. 5 that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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