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Road transport is taking over rail services. Is this development positive or negative?

Road transport is taking over rail services. Is this development positive or negative? kYx1R
Many people believe that road transport is being used more than rail services. In this essay, I will discuss both views of this development. There are many reasons why people prefer using their own vehicles to using rail services. The main reason for believing this is that road transports provide us flexibility as people can freely go to any destinations, stop at any places at any time without being interrupted. Additionally, by travelling by their own vehicles, travellers don’t have to change their schedule in order to accommodate the timetable which is set by the railway department. The second reason is that unlike other kinds of transportations, road transports are not halted in bad weather conditions whether it is rainy or snowy. However, there are still some negative effects about this development that are worth being concerned about. Air pollution and traffic jams are major drawbacks of road transportation. Although there are plenty of reasons for environmental degradation, toxic fumes released from the vehicles are still one of the main reasons. Consequently, not only global warming is increasing, but also it causes many diseases for people such as asthma or even lung cancer. Another disadvantage of this development is that many four wheelers cause traffic jams because the majority of humankind have the same starting and closing office time. Therefore, it results in people waiting in heavy traffic or even late for work. In conclusion, I believe that this development has both merits as well as demerits. However, in this situation, the negative effects of this development which is damaging the environment and causing traffic jams are greater than the positive effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more than rail services. In this essay, I will discuss both views of this development.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to using rail services. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transports provide us flexibility as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
freely
go to any destinations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
at any places at any time without
being interrupted
.
Additionally
, by travelling by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles,
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travellers
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their schedule in order to accommodate the timetable which
is set
by the railway department. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that unlike other kinds of transportations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transports are not halted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather conditions whether it is rainy or snowy.

However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
that are worth
being concerned
about. Air pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams are major drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transportation. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for environmental degradation, toxic fumes released from the vehicles are
still
one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Consequently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
global warming is increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as asthma or even lung cancer. Another disadvantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
four
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheelers
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of humankind have the same starting and closing office time.
Therefore
, it results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waiting in heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
or even late for work.

In conclusion
, I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has both merits
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
demerits.
However
, in this situation, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
which is damaging the environment and causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams are greater than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
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IELTS essay Road transport is taking over rail services. Is this development positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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