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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. lPwQ
Developed countries provide financial assistance to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty problem of developing countries. Should they offer different type of assistance rather than a financial one? I certainly agree with the above premise. Developing countries like India face a multitude of problems including religious outrage, financial instability, corruption, dowry exchange during marriage, honor killing, female foeticide and others to name a few. Simply borrowing money from developed countries or international organisations(such as IMF) won't solve all the problems, infact it would place the country under huge debt and instead of solving the problem for which the loan was sanctioned to the country it would start to focus on the repayment of the loan. The country in it's own sense would be justified for doing so because if they fail to return the money they would have to take an additional loan to cover that thus creating a vicious debt cycle which is arduous to break. Problem specific help or exchane programs should be provided by these developed countries, for example recently U. S. A required a certain type of chemical required for munufacture of covid-19 vaccine and provided that chemical in exorbitant quantity as to help a friendly nation. We can also take globalisation into consideration e. g, australia is a country which is isolated from the rest of the world and in earlier 2000's the technology sector from a development and security point of view there was really weak which impacted it's economy and livelihood of people. Gradually with increase in globalisation and help of other countries the technology sector grew many folds improving the problem of a stagnant technology sector. In conclusion, financial assistance could be of help sometimes for poor nations but if developed nations try to target the root cause of problems faced by lower segment nations it would actually better for them in the long run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not solve poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Should they offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of assistance
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
one? I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above premise.

Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India face a multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including religious outrage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
instability, corruption, dowry exchange during marriage, honor killing, female
Possible spelling mistake found.
foeticide


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
others to name a few.
Simply
borrowing money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
(such as IMF) won't solve all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
infact
it would place the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
under huge debt and
instead
of solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for which the loan
was sanctioned
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to focus on the repayment of the loan. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sense would
be justified
for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they fail to return the money they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take an additional loan to cover that
thus
creating a vicious debt cycle which is arduous to break.

Problem specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
exchane
programs should
be provided
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
for example
recently U. S. A required a certain type of chemical required for
Possible spelling mistake found.
munufacture
of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
vaccine and provided that chemical in exorbitant quantity as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a friendly nation.

We can
also
take
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
into consideration e. g,
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which
is isolated
from the rest of the world and in earlier
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "2000s".
2000's
the technology sector from a development and security point of view there was
really
weak which impacted
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
economy and livelihood of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Gradually
with increase in
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the technology sector grew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folds improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of a stagnant technology sector.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance could be of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for poor nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations try to target the root cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
faced by lower segment nations it would actually better for them in the long run.

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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