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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Wealth inequality has increased dramatically for the last century. Transfer fund to the poor country is considered as the best solution for poverty problem, meanwhile, some people believe that the government should pick another types of action. In my opinion, I strongly believe that empowering a country to become more independent is quite crucial rather than continuously help through financial aid. First and foremost, poor country could apply a fair tax system to boost economy. This is because, one of the tax function is for redistribution that can be utilized for providing public goods and services such as health, military, infrastructure, etc. As a matter of fact, Vietnam has been known as a country with a decent self-assessment tax system followed by a sophisticated tax administration which encountered through tax reform. Hence, it is not surprising that the tax ratio of Vietnam surpass Malaysia and Brunei at a rate 22, 5%. Furthermore, this number is followed by the decreasing number of Gini Ratio for the last decade which represented the inequality between the rich and the poor. Although it is true that tax is not a single factor for poverty, implementing the right tax system will absolutely helpful for the government to budget its state. Secondly, the government should also focus on improving education. The reason that it is undeniable that education is the root for most of country problems such as crime and poverty. For instance, Papua Nugini faces a problem of low level literacy and education leading to an increasing rate of unemployment. Furthermore, unless people get a job and money, they will choose an illegal job such as robbery of pickpocketing. In addition, the rocketing price causing by inflation rate is not balance with the increasing of wages which finally affect people’s spending. Finally, miserable life of the community is inevitable. As a conclusion, in lieu of relying to the cash transfer by the developed countries, the government of poor countries should become more independent by empowering their tax and education. Nevertheless, the rich country can assist them to develop those areas.
Wealth inequality has increased
dramatically
for the last century. Transfer fund to the
poor
country
is considered
as the best solution for poverty problem, meanwhile,
some
people
believe that the
government
should pick another types of action. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that empowering a
country
to become more independent is quite crucial
rather
than
continuously
help
through financial aid.

First
and foremost,
poor
country
could apply a
fair
tax
system to boost economy. This is
because
, one of the
tax
function is for redistribution that can
be utilized
for providing public
goods
and services such as health, military, infrastructure, etc. As a matter of fact, Vietnam has
been known
as a
country
with a decent self-assessment
tax
system followed by a sophisticated
tax
administration which encountered through
tax
reform.
Hence
, it is not surprising that the
tax
ratio of Vietnam surpass Malaysia and Brunei at a rate 22, 5%.
Furthermore
, this number
is followed
by the decreasing number of
Gini
Ratio for the last decade which represented the inequality between the rich and the
poor
. Although it is true that
tax
is not a single factor for poverty, implementing the right
tax
system will
absolutely
helpful for the
government
to budget its state.

Secondly
, the
government
should
also
focus on improving
education
. The reason that it is undeniable that
education
is the root for most of
country
problems such as crime and poverty.
For instance
,
Papua
Nugini
faces a problem of low level literacy and
education
leading to an increasing rate of unemployment.
Furthermore
, unless
people
get
a job and money, they will choose an illegal job such as robbery of
pickpocketing
.
In addition
, the rocketing price causing by inflation rate is not balance with the increasing of wages which
finally
affect
people
’s spending.
Finally
, miserable life of the community is inevitable.

As a conclusion, in lieu of
relying
to the cash transfer by the developed
countries
, the
government
of
poor
countries
should become more independent by empowering their
tax
and
education
.
Nevertheless
, the rich
country
can assist them to develop those areas.
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IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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