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The number of men in higher management role is way more than women but almost 50% workforce in developed country is women come women companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of a position to women.

Earlier women were confined to the walls of the home only but nowadays, they are stepping out of houses making 50% of workforce and developed countries. However, higher managerial post are occupied by large number of men. To solve this conflict, some people opined that companies should reserve a certain proportion of these positions for women. I completely agree to the above statement. To justify my opinion, I would like to say it ensures that the gender equality. I think women should be given opportunities to work in high position roles so that they could stand equally shoulder to shoulder with men, this will not resolve the whole problem but some where it would add on to it helping women to earn immense reputation in the society. Moreover, it will fill the gap between the status of men and women that was created by our ancestors. Hence, reservation would aid to end of the gender inequality in the society. Furthermore, it is proved in recent researches that women are more responsible and can manage everything way more efficiently than men. Therefore, women should be given chance to show their hidden talent to the world. There are many women who are well qualified for the senior post in company but due to lack of vacancies and priority given to men they are not assigned to that post. Since women are more responsible, they can make the company successful by using their skills. For instance; women handle everything tactfully at home like they do multitasking everyday as they are experienced in dealing with things problems, etcetera. so they are also they can also implement the same skill, while working in the company and can lead it to the path of success. weighing up all considerations, it can be clearly seen that it is necessity of time to allot a fixed percentage of the high ranked posts to women in the company.
Earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were confined
to the walls of the home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays, they are stepping out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
making 50% of workforce and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
However
, higher managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
are occupied
by large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. To solve this conflict,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opined that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should reserve a certain proportion of these positions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the above statement.

To justify my opinion, I would like to say it ensures that the gender equality. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunities to work in high position roles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could stand
equally
shoulder to shoulder with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, this will not resolve the whole problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean “somewhere”?
some where
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on to it helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to earn immense reputation in the society.
Moreover
, it will fill the gap between the status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
that
was created
by our ancestors.
Hence
, reservation would aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the gender inequality in the society.

Furthermore
, it
is proved
in recent researches that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more responsible and can manage everything way more
efficiently
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their hidden talent to the world. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are well qualified for the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to lack of vacancies and priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
they are not assigned to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more responsible, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
successful by using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
handle everything
tactfully
at home like they do multitasking
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
as they
are experienced
in dealing with things problems, etcetera.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
so
they are
also
they can
also
implement the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, while working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and can lead it to the path of success.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
weighing
up all considerations, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it is necessity of time to allot a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
percentage of the high ranked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
posts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
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IELTS essay The number of men in higher management role is way more than women but almost 50% workforce in developed country is women come women companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of a position to women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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