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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. bBnB
The topic of international aid is incredibly controversial and there are no simple solutions. However, this essay will argue that giving money is not simply enough and that more nuanced, long-term solutions are necessary. To begin with, it is important to acknowledge that poor countries need some form of aid and that money is better than nothing. Wealthy countries give vast sums of money, but there are numerous problems that emerge. Firstly, this money usually has strings attached, meaning that the poor countries often end up owing favours or debts, which exacerbates their problems. Secondly, poor countries are typically poor because of endemic corruption, and money donated is usually embezzled immediately after receipt. As such, giving money is understandable but problematic, and other forms of aid are thus preferable. Nowadays, many people realise that it is better to provide poor countries with the means to help themselves. This can be done through various ways, including education. As such, perhaps the best way to help these nations is to provide them with teachers and educational facilities. This can allow them to raise a generation of intelligent, motivated people who will shape the future. It can clearly be seen that the education of women is of particular importance, as this lowers the fertility rate, further stopping other problems that contribute to poverty. Therefore, the education of young women should be made a top priority. In conclusion, whilst it may seem reasonable to donate money to poor countries, it would be far better to help them through education.
The topic of international aid is
incredibly
controversial and there are no simple solutions.
However
, this essay will argue that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and that more nuanced, long-term solutions are necessary.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of aid and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is better than nothing. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give vast sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are numerous problems that emerge.
Firstly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
usually
has strings attached, meaning that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up owing
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
or debts, which exacerbates their problems.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
typically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of endemic corruption, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
donated is
usually
embezzled immediately after receipt. As such, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is understandable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
problematic, and other forms of aid are
thus
preferable.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that it is better to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves. This can
be done
through various ways, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As such, perhaps the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these nations is to provide them with teachers and educational facilities. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to raise a generation of intelligent, motivated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will shape the future. It can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of women is of particular importance, as this lowers the fertility rate,
further
stopping other problems that contribute to poverty.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of young women should
be made
a top priority.

In conclusion
, whilst it may seem reasonable to donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it would be far better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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