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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Bn0j
Some argue that the poor situation in developing countries has not been improved with the financial help from developed countries, so wealthy nations should offer assistants in other methods instead of donating money. From my perspective of view, financial aid and volunteers should be used together to solve poverty in those poor countries. Money has an essential role to play in tackling problems associated with the food shortage and the unsatisfying medical care in poor countries. In other words, the money from rich countries can not only afford the necessary food to help people out of famine, on the contrary also provide comprehensive treatment to cure a number of disease. In this way, people from deprived background can maintain a healthy body to make an effort to develop their own countries, eventually boosting the economy. For example, a number of developing countries suffered from poverty in Africa have more people dedicated in labor intensive jobs, such as mining, which contributes significantly to the countries' revenue, due to the sufficient food and vaccines to keep people health supported by developed countries. On the other hand, the importance of volunteers in education lies in the fact that most of these poor countries lack teachers to offer mandatory courses to the young generation, and therefore children are less likely to facilitate the development of economy in the future. I believe that the volunteers can pass on knowledge to children in poor countries, closing the gap between haves and have-nots. To illustrate, volunteers can reduce the rate that a number of children have no access to schools, which means children can gain literacy skills and practical skills to fulfill any job required basic knowledge, getting rid of poverty with stable income. In conclusion, financial aid is essential to help poor countries out of poverty. However, I argue that improving the education level also should be considered when rich countries have the chance to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
situation in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
with the financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wealthy nations should offer assistants in other methods
instead
of donating money. From my perspective of view, financial aid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
together to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries.

Money has an essential role to play in tackling problems associated with the food shortage and the unsatisfying medical care in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In other words
, the money from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
afford the necessary food to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
out of famine,
on the contrary
also
provide comprehensive treatment to cure a number of disease. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from deprived background can maintain a healthy body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
eventually
boosting the economy.
For example
, a number of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
suffered from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in Africa have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dedicated in labor intensive jobs, such as mining, which contributes
significantly
to the countries' revenue, due to the sufficient food and vaccines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health supported by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

On the other hand
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
in education lies in the fact that most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lack teachers to offer mandatory courses to the young generation, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less likely to facilitate the development of economy in the future. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
can pass on knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, closing the gap between haves and
Possible spelling mistake found.
have-nots
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no access to schools, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can gain literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to fulfill any job required basic knowledge, getting rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
with stable income.

In conclusion
, financial aid is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
However
, I argue that improving the education level
also
should
be considered
when rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the chance to.
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IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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