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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 5
In recent years, there has been a growing recognition that many developed countries have provided poor ones with financial aid. However, it has been argued that giving money to them does not solve poverty. In my opinion, I do believe that there are many ways that a country can help another rather than lending them money. It is important for an underdeveloped country to improve their living conditions in order to make their nation stronger and boost its economy. Rich countries can provide these nations with support similar to clean water, fresh energy and cheap live stocks. The primary reason is that this can lead to a better environment as well as increase the people’s health and well-being status. To a society as a whole, this can have positives and continuing effects and would eventually be able to deal with poverty. Besides all those technical support, education is of equal importance. It is no exaggeration to say that increasing people’s knowledge will stimulate their creativity and help them obtain degrees so that they can make money in the long term. A standard example of this is that if a school is built in the distant mountain areas, it can help the children get a proper education and can provide them with jobs. They might be able to go to a decent college and learn about ways they can improve the surroundings of their hometown. Therefore, providing learning facilities can be a type of support from developed countries. It therefore can be made clear that there are many different ways a rich nation can help those that are not. Some measurements are just as important as others, such as lending money, improving the environment and providing decent education.
In recent years, there has been a growing recognition that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have provided poor ones with financial aid.
However
, it has
been argued
that giving money to them does not solve poverty. In my opinion, I do believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
another
rather
than lending them money.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living conditions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their nation stronger and boost its economy. Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can provide these nations with support similar to clean water, fresh energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
stocks. The primary reason is that this can lead to a better environment
as well
as increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health and well-being status. To a society as a whole, this can have positives and continuing effects and would
eventually
be able to deal with poverty.

Besides
all those technical support, education is of equal importance. It is no exaggeration to say that increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s knowledge will stimulate their creativity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them obtain degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money in the long term. A standard example of this is that if a school
is built
in the distant mountain areas, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper education and can provide them with jobs. They might be able to go to a decent college and learn about ways they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the surroundings of their hometown.
Therefore
, providing learning facilities can be a type of support from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

It
therefore
can
be made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways a rich nation can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those that are not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measurements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as others, such as lending money, improving the environment and providing decent education.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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