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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.22

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 22
Developed countries have been helped sub developed countries giving money, actually it is not a solution for the problem of lack of money. However rich countries should provide to them different kind of helping for poorer countries instead of financial help. This essay agrees with the statement, because poor countries will be better if they received help about education and health. Firstly, the most important feature of some rich population is value education. Most of time poor countries, do not have access to a good study, this is the key for the success. For instance, my country, Brazil is clearly an example of a sub developed country. And learning from the school not even from private school could be well done; some teachers do not have enough knowledge to teach students. Perhaps developed countries should invest in better schools in sub developed countries, in order to help them having a profession, and consequently earn more cash to pay their families’ costs. Secondly, in poor countries’ health is always a huge problem because it is considered expensive for almost everyone. When someone becomes sick, their families often need to do more fund to pay for medicine or doctors. On the other hand, the prevention is the best option in terms of healthiness, but those families are so poor that they could not have basic good habits like well cleaning and good nutrition. Therefore, they become sicker and have a variety of different types of disease. In conclusion, giving capital to poorer countries might not be the best way to help them. Even though often rich countries give some financial aid, it could be more efficient if they provide improvements in learning and well-being. This could be more beneficial for both kinds of countries.
Developed
countries
have been
helped
sub
developed
countries
giving money, actually it is not a solution for the problem of lack of money.
However
rich
countries
should provide to them
different
kind of helping for poorer
countries
instead
of financial
help
. This essay
agrees
with the statement,
because
poor
countries
will be better if they received
help
about education and health.

Firstly
, the most
important
feature of
some
rich population is value education.
Most of time
poor
countries
, do not have access to a
good
study, this is the key for the success.
For instance
, my
country
, Brazil is
clearly
an example of a sub
developed
country
. And learning from the school not even from private school could be well done;
some
teachers do not have
enough
knowledge to teach students. Perhaps
developed
countries
should invest in better schools in sub
developed
countries
, in order to
help
them
having
a profession, and
consequently
earn more cash to pay their families’ costs.

Secondly
, in
poor
countries’
health is always a huge problem
because
it
is considered
expensive for almost everyone. When someone becomes sick, their families
often
need to do more fund to pay for medicine or doctors.
On the other hand
, the prevention is the best option in terms of healthiness,
but
those families are
so
poor
that they could not have basic
good
habits like well cleaning and
good
nutrition.
Therefore
, they become sicker and have a variety of
different
types of disease.

In conclusion
, giving capital to poorer
countries
might not be the best way to
help
them.
Even though
often
rich
countries
give
some
financial aid, it could be more efficient if they provide improvements in learning and well-being. This could be more beneficial for both kinds of
countries
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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