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Restriction on mobile phone ownership.

Restriction on mobile phone ownership. 0aKbQ
Nowadays mobile phone is part of most people’s life. At the initial, the only function of mobile phone is make a call. While, in the present day, it is produced with plenty of function. Numerous said, it is undeniable that mobile phone had already become an important part of human, and we need those devices. In contrast, other group of people have an idea of restriction in ownership of mobile phones to those who significantly need it. Let’s begin with those who agree with restriction. The idea of restriction is focus on people who less likely to use portable telephone in their life. There are severals research present the disadvantages of let youth and teen spend too much time with their own or even parent’s mobile. Furthermore, overuse of mobile phone had responsibility in plenty road accidents. In addition, concerning of global warming, large number of people have own more than only one mobile phones, consequent in expansion of production line and unleash tons of carbon. Restriction of device ownership can reduce these problems. Moving anti-restriction. These portable device is useful for people to live their life. Make a call or leave a message is convenient for office working. Also, part of human have separately use two different phone with their work and personal lives. Finally, in the era of smartphones, plentiful of financial function can reduce cost of using paper or transportation. From my point of view, The ownership cannot be restriction because human have a free will. Alternatively, Campaign of “Responsibility in owing the device” is better than restriction.
Nowadays mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is part of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life. At the initial, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
function of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a call. While, in the present day, it
is produced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of function. Numerous said, it is undeniable that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
had already become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of human, and we need those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
In contrast
, other group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
in ownership of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to those who
significantly
need it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
is focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
portable telephone in their life. There are
Possible spelling mistake found.
severals
research present the disadvantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
youth and teen spend too much time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or even parent’s mobile.
Furthermore
, overuse of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
had responsibility in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
road accidents.
In addition
, concerning of global warming, large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, consequent in expansion of production line and unleash tons of carbon.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Restriction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
ownership can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these problems.

Moving anti-restriction. These portable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
a call or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a message is convenient for office working.
Also
, part of human have
separately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'phone' seems to be countable, so consider using: "phones".
phone
with their work and personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Finally
, in the era of smartphones, plentiful of financial function can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost of using paper or transportation.

From my point of view, The ownership cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human have a free will.
Alternatively
, Campaign of “Responsibility in owing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device”
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
.
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IELTS essay Restriction on mobile phone ownership.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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