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Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

There is a proverb saying that prevention is better than cure. Accordingly, it is considered to be more preferable to invest in preventative measure than to invest in conducting research and treating diseases which are more expensive. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, but with some notes. In this regard, I believe that both measures could be done simultaneously without putting pressure on budget. Firstly, preventative measures are indeed cheaper. However, there are some situations where preventative ones are ineffective and thus, they need to be supplemented by investment in researching, studying and treating diseases. For instance, in the case of COVID-19 pandemics, at the outset of the outbreak, government promulgated several instructions to check any passengers arriving in Indonesia from overseas in every airport to prevent the imported COVID-19 cases. However, we now realise that neither is the preventative measure proven effective nor efficient since the are many borders in Indonesia being left unwatched. In this respect, safeguarding every border in Indonesia is extremely costly. Secondly, conducting research and study to find out the way to cure the diseases can be less expensive if from the beginning, government supports the funding of universities to conduct research in the area of disease study. By providing sufficient funding, universities can use the fund to improve its capacity and to incentivise them in conducting innovative research for diseases. Moreover, the funding may also be allocated to build university hospitals. In this perspective, I believe that having routine funding will not be burdensome for government budget compared to having to fund research amid this pandemic situation without any proper infrastructure and resources for the research and treatment. All in all, having a proper mechanism to prevent diseases is important. Nevertheless, the availability of research and treatment diseases for particular diseases is also fundamental because there are circumstances where preventative actions are ineffective.
There is a proverb saying that prevention is better than cure.
Accordingly
, it
is considered
to be more preferable to invest in preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
than to invest in conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which are more expensive. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes. In this regard, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
could
be done
simultaneously
without putting pressure on budget.

Firstly
, preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are
indeed
cheaper.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations where preventative ones are ineffective and
thus
, they need to
be supplemented
by investment in researching, studying and treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
For instance
, in the case of COVID-19 pandemics, at the outset of the outbreak,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
promulgated several instructions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
any passengers arriving in Indonesia from overseas in every airport to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the imported COVID-19 cases.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
realise that neither is the preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
proven effective nor efficient since the are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
borders in Indonesia being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unwatched. In this respect, safeguarding every border in Indonesia is
extremely
costly.

Secondly
, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and study to find out the way to cure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can be less expensive if from the beginning,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
supports the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
of universities to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
study. By providing sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
, universities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the fund to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its capacity and to incentivise them in conducting innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
may
also
be allocated
to build university hospitals. In this perspective, I believe that having routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
will not be burdensome for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget compared to having to fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
amid this pandemic situation without any proper infrastructure and resources for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and treatment.

All in all, having a proper mechanism to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Nevertheless
, the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
for particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is
also
fundamental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are circumstances where preventative actions are ineffective.
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IELTS essay Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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