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Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do physical exercise.What do you think are the cause of this?What solutions are there to this problem

In the modern world, physicians have described that people's lifestyle does not include physical workout sufficiently. In my opinion, the causes of this trend are varied, and this essay will provide possible solutions of the problem. From my perspective, two main reasons why people cannot concentrate on physical exercise are their busy lifestyle and influence of technology. Firstly, people cannot find time to workout as they have been working to achieve high standard of living. Most people spend hours at work to reach their destinations and give time for their family when they came back home. Therefore, people have no time to do physical activities. Secondly, many people are under the control of technological equipment in all aspects of life. People cannot help using electronic devices such as mobile phone and laptop in their leisure time. For instance, people prefer to spend at least three hours a day by surfing the internet than by going out to walk. To solve this issue, the best solution is an awareness of doing physical fitness in daily routine. To start with, if people have no time to do physical exercise in the daytime, they can go for a walk or play games with their family at night. In other words, people can go to work by walking or cycling with their colleagues instead of driving. Moreover, there are many workout videos on YouTube and Facebook. Therefore, people can follow suit different forms of exercise by watching these videos when they are surfing the internet. In conclusion, I believe healthy lifestyle is the most precious thing in life. This is why people have to understand the effect of doing physical exercise and they should workout about ten to thirty minutes a day to keep fit.
In the modern world, physicians have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle does not include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
sufficiently
. In my opinion, the causes of this trend
are varied
, and this essay will provide possible solutions of the problem.

From my perspective, two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are their busy lifestyle and influence of technology.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
as they have been working to achieve high standard of living. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend hours at work to reach their destinations and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their family when they came back home.
Therefore
,
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people
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under the control of technological equipment in all aspects of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
using electronic devices such as mobile phone and laptop in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend at least three hours a day by surfing the internet than by going out to walk.

To solve this issue, the best solution is an awareness of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness in daily routine. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in the daytime, they can go for a walk or play games with their family at night.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go to work by walking or cycling with their colleagues
instead
of driving.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
videos on YouTube and Facebook.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can follow suit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
by watching these videos when they are surfing the internet.

In conclusion
, I believe healthy lifestyle is the most precious thing in life. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand the effect of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
about ten to thirty minutes a day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit.
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IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do physical exercise. What do you think are the cause of this? What solutions are there to this problem

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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