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Research on space needs a huge monetary investment.

Research on space needs a huge monetary investment. 1X9A
Research on space needs a huge monetary investment. Even though space exploration provides an expectation of the possibility of life elsewhere than on earth, it is not justifiable that billions of dollars are spent on the research while people are still dying of poverty and treatable diseases on our planet. It should be better spent on addressing these problems. The greatest minds of the world work day and night and spend a fortune machinery to discover clues which may lead to a deeper understanding of the space. Research, undoubtedly, is the way to progress and discover new things. However, the world around us is filled with problems of poverty and infectious diseases. To illustrate, World Health Organisation published the demographic data in 2016 AD that 77% of the world population is under the poverty line. In addition, the under-five mortality rate was 46% and the major cause of death was acute gastroenteritis which is a treatable infectious disease. While people are dying or living in extreme conditions on our planet, it is absolutely not justified that scarce financial resources be spent on space research that who knows may need centuries. Furthermore, it is not definite that research will yield any desirable results. In my opinion, the funds could be better spent on existing world problems. Firstly, poverty demands an immediate action. Millions of people around the world who are living with minimum food and little clothing must be adequately supported. For example, instead of financing space exploration, governments should support NGOs like ‘Aamako Ghar’ in Nepal which provide shelter for the needy and also teache them handicraft work through which they can earn a livelihood. Secondly, no human should die due to simple and treatable diseases such as acute gastroenteritis. The goal to minimize infectious diseases is not unachievable if enough funds and manpower is are invested. The world leaders must direct their attention and money towards eradicating the disease by diverting funds from extra-terrestrial research to mundane human problems. In conclusion, if governments divert billions of dollars from space research programs to everyday human problems, the world will be a more socially peaceful and economically prosperous place to live.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
needs a huge monetary investment.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration provides an expectation of the possibility of life
Use "(elsewhere)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
elsewhere
than on earth, it is not justifiable that billions of dollars are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
dying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and treatable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
on our planet. It should be better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on addressing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The greatest minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
work day and night and spend a fortune machinery to discover clues which may lead to a deeper understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
,
undoubtedly
, is the way to progress and discover new things.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
around us
is filled
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
published the demographic data in 2016 AD that 77% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population is under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
line.
In addition
, the under-five mortality rate was 46% and the major cause of death was acute gastroenteritis which is a treatable infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dying or living in extreme conditions on our planet, it is
absolutely
not justified that scarce financial resources be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
that who knows may need centuries.
Furthermore
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
will yield any desirable results.

In my opinion, the funds could be better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
demands an immediate action. Millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
who are living with minimum food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
clothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
adequately
supported.
For example
,
instead
of financing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should support NGOs like ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aamako
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghar
’ in Nepal which provide shelter for the needy and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
teache
them handicraft work through which they can earn a livelihood.
Secondly
, no human should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to simple and treatable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as acute gastroenteritis. The goal to minimize infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is not unachievable if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds and manpower is
are invested
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
direct their attention and money towards eradicating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
by diverting funds from extra-terrestrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to mundane human problems.

In conclusion
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
divert billions of dollars from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
programs to everyday human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will be a more
socially
peaceful and
economically
prosperous place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Research on space needs a huge monetary investment.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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