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Question: It is observed that communication among family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or be disagree?

Question: It is observed that communication among family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or be disagree? 5XGN
Although some people opine that interaction among family members in this day and age is less as compared to the previous times; others, however, contradict to this view. In my opinion, I completely agree to the above viewpoint not only because nowadays people spend more time with electronic devices but also due to their hectic work schedules. The prominent reason why there is less interaction among members of families is that people spend most of the time with their electronic gadgets. In other words, in this era of enhanced technology, people devote more time in watching television or accessing social networking websites for prolonged hours. This has separated them from real world and they communicate very less with their friends and relatives. For example, youngsters these days spend more time socializing on social networking website such as Facebook or watching television rather than interacting with their kith and kin. This has created social gap among family members even after staying under one roof. Another reason to consider the above viewpoint is the hectic work schedules of people. As the necessities and requirements of today’s generation has been increasing day by day, almost all family members seek to earn more and more to have all materialistic things in their possessions. As a result, they work for longer hours and sometimes do not even talk for days or weeks with each other. In most middle classes, for example, it is seen that both parents and children go for work to earn their livelihood. However, some people argue that people these days interact more as compared to the past owing to the culture of nuclear families. Due to having less members in families they get a chance to communicate more and they do all activities together. But, I refute with this view because it is very rare to find such families in today’s era. To conclude, I wholeheartedly agree that communication among family members have reduced owing to frantic work schedules and increased usage of electronic gadgets.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that interaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in this day and age is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
; others,
however
, contradict to this view. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the above viewpoint not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with electronic devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
due to their hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedules.

The prominent reason why there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
interaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their electronic gadgets.
In other words
, in this era of enhanced technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in watching television or accessing social networking websites for prolonged hours. This has separated them from real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
with their friends and relatives.
For example
, youngsters these days spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
socializing on social networking website such as Facebook or watching television
rather
than interacting with their kith and kin. This has created social gap among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
even after staying under one roof.

Another reason to consider the above viewpoint is the hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedules of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As the necessities and requirements of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation has been increasing day by day, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
seek to earn more and more to have all materialistic things in their possessions.
As a result
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for longer hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do not even talk for days or weeks with each other. In most middle classes,
for example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both parents and children go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to earn their livelihood.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days interact more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the past owing to the culture of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Due to having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun members is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to communicate
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
they do all activities together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I refute with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare to find such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era.

To conclude
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
owing to frantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedules and increased usage of electronic gadgets.
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IELTS essay Question: It is observed that communication among family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or be disagree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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