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Research has shown that spending less time in office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Research has shown that spending less time in office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Ww6e
People have begun the realization of energy consumption can be checked by reducing the time spent by employees in offices. Therefore, many companies have adopted strategies like reducing number of working days in a week. I believe that pros of this development outweigh the cons. There are many advantages of closing offices for some days a week. Firstly, it leads to a substantial reduction of expenses in terms of energy consumption, water usage and fuel consumption. Secondly, with the workweek load reduced and leisure time the productivity of employees improve, compensating for hours lost. For instance, the number of days in a workweek has been reduced from six to five days in government in India, which has not affected the work completed in a week. The commuting of employees and movement of office vehicles have also been reduced, resulting in substantial fuel savings. Furthermore, people get to spend time with their family and friends. This is very important in today’s era of cutthroat competition wherein people have become workaholics and are failing to draw a line between work and leisure. This day off could give them much-needed time for themselves and their families. This could recharge their batteries and make them go back to work the next day with added zeal and enthusiasm. On the other hand, this shortened workweek can affect work-output and reduce the earning of employees especially those work on daily wages. This could obviously discourage workers. Additionally, considering the competition faced by the companies and targets they have to achieve within the given deadlines, this policy could have detrimental effects on the companies’ performance. However, the drawbacks can be minimized by introducing alternative methods like telecommuting, where employees do not come to office, but work from home using modern telecommunication systems. To sum up, although there are minor disadvantages to this system, shorter workweeks can have greater benefits to individuals and society by saving the depleting energy resources of the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have begun the realization of energy consumption can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have adopted strategies like reducing number of working days in a week. I believe that pros of this development outweigh the cons.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days a week.
Firstly
, it leads to a substantial reduction of expenses in terms of energy consumption, water usage and fuel consumption.
Secondly
, with the workweek load
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, compensating for hours lost.
For instance
, the number of days in a workweek has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from six to five days in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in India, which has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
completed in a week. The commuting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
vehicles have
also
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, resulting in substantial fuel savings.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family and friends. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era of cutthroat competition wherein
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become workaholics and are failing to draw a line between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and leisure. This day off could give them much-needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and their families.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
could recharge their batteries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them go back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the
next
day with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
zeal and enthusiasm.

On the other hand
, this shortened workweek can affect work-output and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the earning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
especially
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on daily wages. This could
obviously
discourage workers.
Additionally
, considering the competition faced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and targets they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
achieve within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
deadlines, this policy could have detrimental effects on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ performance.
However
, the drawbacks can
be minimized
by introducing alternative methods like telecommuting, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home using modern telecommunication systems.

To sum up, although there are minor disadvantages to this system, shorter workweeks can have greater benefits to individuals and society by saving the depleting energy resources of the world.
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IELTS essay Research has shown that spending less time in office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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