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report on staff survey about new offices

report on staff survey about new offices 1AxON
Report on staff survey Introduction The aim of this report is to summarise points discussed in the last survey about changes in the offices. Reasons for changes Our offices were built thirty years ago, and now they require modernisation. These structures aren't comfortable for the staff anymore, so we hope that we will increase personnel retention, motivation, and efficiency by rebuilding. Opinions of staff A large proportion of our staff asked for new offices in the same area. That is because they enjoy this area near to their houses. A significant number of our employees told me that they prefer moving these offices to the city centre. One member of personnel explained to me that he always wanted to work among the people and in the centre there are the majority of clothes stores and similar. A smaller percentage have requested to modernise the already existing offices; they would remain in this place. Recommendations I believe we should modernise existing offices because it is cheaper than buying new spaces in other areas. Even though most staff want open-plan offices, we cannot do this because the managers wish to receive their partners or customers individually. Also, we can't reckon the request about using natural light because the days are shorter in winter and the sun sets early.
Report on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
survey

Introduction

The aim of this report is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
points discussed in the last survey about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the offices.

Reasons for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes


Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
were built
thirty years ago, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they require
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
. These structures aren't comfortable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we hope that we will increase personnel retention, motivation, and efficiency by rebuilding.

Opinions of staff

A large proportion of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
in the same area.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy this area near to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. A significant number of our employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that they prefer moving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
to the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. One member of personnel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to me that he always wanted to work among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
there are the
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "majorities"?
majority
of clothes stores and similar.

A smaller percentage have requested to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernise' is British English.
modernise
the already existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
; they would remain in this place.

Recommendations

I believe we should
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernise' is British English.
modernise
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper than buying new spaces in other areas.
Even though
most
Use a plural noun after 'most' or use "staff members".
staff
want open-plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
, we cannot do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the managers wish to receive their partners or customers
individually
.
Also
, we can't reckon the request about using natural light
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the days are shorter in winter and the sun sets early.
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IELTS essay report on staff survey about new offices

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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