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Physical education should be part of school programs. Agree or Disagree?

Physical education should be part of school programs. Agree or Disagree? E3wbD
Nowadays, people have rather? opposing views about whether physical education must be included in school programs or not. While excluding physical education from school subjects can have its own benefits, I personally believe that having such an education in school can have great outcome. On the one hand, some people claim that schools should not have physical education in their programs. They suggest that it is better register their children in sport clubs. Some parent prefer to take their children to professional clubs which have all the facilities which is needed. They believe that schools are not well equipped for such a purposes. In addition, investing on other subjects can be more important. There are parent who believe that it is schools are better to invest on in scientific subjects rather than physical education. They think when their children are educated enough to have their own income, they can choose any kind of sports they like. On the other hand, I think embedding physical education in school’s schedules are ver beneficial. Firstly, students need to have their brain freshened, among so many theoretical subjects when they study. so it helps them to keep studying better. Secondly, it can discover many talents in their early ages. There are many athletes which were discovered in their teen ages so they chose the path of professional sport over at studying and became much more successful in their lives. In conclusion, although to skip physical education are beneficial, I think having it as a fixed subject in school programs are better because it can discover young talents and freshen up student’s brain.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
rather
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opposing
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be included
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs or not.

While excluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits, I
personally
believe that having such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can have great outcome.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in their programs. They suggest that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
register their children in sport clubs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "parents"?
parent
prefer to take their children to professional clubs which have all the facilities which
is needed
. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
for such
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a purpose" or simply "purposes"?
a purposes
.
In addition
, investing on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. There are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "parents"?
parent
who believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to invest on in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when their children
are educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income, they can choose any kind of sports they like.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
embedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
schedules are
Possible spelling mistake found.
ver
beneficial.
Firstly
, students need to have their brain freshened, among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
when they study.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Secondly
, it can discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talents in their early ages. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
athletes which
were discovered
in their teen ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they chose the path of professional sport over at studying and became much more successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, although to skip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are beneficial, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
having it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can discover young talents and freshen up student’s brain.
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IELTS essay Physical education should be part of school programs. Agree or Disagree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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