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regarding the proportion of total music sales from three different methods.The data is calibrated in percentage.

regarding the proportion of total music sales from three different methods. The data is calibrated in percentage. 9agVp
The linear representation delineates the information regarding the proportion of total music sales from three different methods. The data is calibrated in percentage. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent the the maximum proportion of music were sold by stream while, there was least percentum of getting music by CD and downloads. To begin with, the ratio of buying music from stream were initially start rising from 2% in 2011. It significantly rose with 42% over the period. In addition, the method of buy music from downloads were less common in 2018. It gradually start diminishing from 35% in 2011 and eventually reach at more than third in 2018. Further reinforcing, the percentile of sales of music from CD were largely common in 2011. Its trend were slightly fell downward from 56% to a quarter in 2018.
The linear representation delineates the information regarding the proportion of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sales from three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods. The data
is calibrated
in percentage. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
maximum proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
were sold
by stream while, there was least
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by CD and downloads. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the ratio of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from stream were
initially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
rising from 2% in 2011. It
significantly
rose with 42% over the period.
In addition
, the method of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from downloads were less common in 2018. It
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
diminishing from 35% in 2011 and
eventually
reach at more than third in 2018.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
reinforcing, the percentile of sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from CD were
largely
common in 2011. Its trend were
slightly
fell downward from 56% to a quarter in 2018.
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IELTS essay regarding the proportion of total music sales from three different methods. The data is calibrated in percentage.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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