Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Recently, the subject of whether happiness is derived from pecuniary accomplishments or it is result of other elements has been topical debate. While there are valid arguments on both sides of the issue, I would advocate the idea that sense of contentment is liable to achieved through other aspects such as convivial family ambiance. On the one hand, I understand why some people hold the opinion of happiness being attributed to financial situation. To begin with, that great deal of money is highly likely to render invariable predicaments rather eradicable. To be more specific, while the plenitude of people are battling to amass certain concentration of money with a view to addressing pervasive problems, for example inaccessibility of education due to exorbitant tuition fees or paucity of food resulting in undernourishment, affluent individuals are able to make use of any kind of service and meet the requirements of their family members effortlessly, which contribute to convenient life

Recently, the subject of whether happiness is derived from pecuniary accomplishments or it is result of other elements has been topical debate. While there are valid arguments on both sides of the issue, I would advocate the idea that sense of contentment is liable to achieved through other aspects such as convivial family ambiance. On the one hand, I understand why some people hold the opinion of happiness being attributed to financial situation. To begin with, that great deal of money is highly likely to render invariable predicaments rather eradicable. To be more specific, while the plenitude of people are battling to amass certain concentration of money with a view to addressing pervasive problems, for example inaccessibility of education due to exorbitant tuition fees or paucity of food resulting in undernourishment, affluent individuals are able to make use of any kind of service and meet the requirements of their family members effortlessly, which contribute to convenient life BKXX
Recently, the subject of whether happiness is derived from pecuniary accomplishments or it is result of other elements has been topical debate. While there are valid arguments on both sides of the issue, I would advocate the idea that sense of contentment is liable to achieved through other aspects such as convivial family ambiance. On the one hand, I understand why some people hold the opinion of happiness being attributed to financial situation. To begin with, that great deal of money is highly likely to render invariable predicaments rather eradicable. To be more specific, while the plenitude of people are battling to amass certain concentration of money with a view to addressing pervasive problems, for example inaccessibility of education due to exorbitant tuition fees or paucity of food resulting in undernourishment, affluent individuals are able to make use of any kind of service and meet the requirements of their family members effortlessly, which contribute to convenient life away from monetary issues. In addition, people accomplishing economic success are bound to participate in certain recreational activities that they find entertaining or relaxing, which is indicative of stress-free life filled with satisfaction. On the other hand, my assumption is that monetary fulfillment is not capable of guaranteeing long-lasting happiness as opposed to strong family bonding and peaceful lifestyle. First and foremost, in spite of the fact that abundance of opportunities are not available for people living in destitution, ignoring push factors such as willpower and determination which are likely to assist poverty-stricken people to gain privileges of being individuals they dream of and obtaining rights to lead life they desire is rather irrational. In fact, it is common picture of people suffering in poverty become reputable individuals thanks to perseverance that induce them to work or study significantly and pursue their dreams. Secondly, no matter how much money a person has, his or her happiness depends on environment of the home they reside in. To be more specific, although the rich commonly confront undesirable situations involving their family members` unconscious behavior towards each other, the impoverished show inclination to support their relatives with an attempt to relieve pressure created by financial problems, thereby contributing to more supportive and convivial family ambiance. In conclusion, economic success is able to facilitate people`s lives and bring about great contentment; however, to my mind, sharing strong family bonding should be key consideration regarding happiness.
Recently, the subject of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is derived
from pecuniary accomplishments or it is result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elements has been topical debate. While there are valid arguments on both sides of the issue, I would advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that sense of contentment is liable to achieved through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects such as convivial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ambiance.

On the one hand, I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
being attributed
to financial situation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, that great deal of money is
highly
likely to render invariable predicaments
rather
eradicable. To be more specific, while the plenitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are battling to amass certain concentration of money with a view to addressing pervasive problems,
for example
inaccessibility of education due to exorbitant tuition fees or paucity of food resulting in undernourishment, affluent individuals are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of any kind of service and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
effortlessly
, which contribute to convenient life away from monetary issues.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accomplishing economic success
are bound
to participate in certain recreational activities that they find entertaining or relaxing, which is indicative of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life filled with satisfaction.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, my assumption is that monetary fulfillment is not capable of guaranteeing long-lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
as opposed to strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding and peaceful lifestyle.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that abundance of opportunities are not available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in destitution, ignoring push factors such as willpower and determination which are likely to assist poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain privileges of being individuals they dream of and obtaining rights to lead life they desire is
rather
irrational. In fact, it is common picture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering in poverty become reputable individuals thanks to perseverance that induce them to work or study
significantly
and pursue their dreams.
Secondly
, no matter how much money a person has,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
depends on environment of the home they reside in. To be more specific, although the rich
commonly
confront undesirable situations involving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members` unconscious behavior towards each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, the impoverished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
inclination to support their relatives with an attempt to relieve pressure created by financial problems, thereby contributing to more supportive and convivial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ambiance.

In conclusion
, economic success is able to facilitate
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and bring about great contentment;
however
, to my mind, sharing strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding should be key consideration regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Recently, the subject of whether happiness is derived from pecuniary accomplishments or it is result of other elements has been topical debate. While there are valid arguments on both sides of the issue, I would advocate the idea that sense of contentment is liable to achieved through other aspects such as convivial family ambiance. On the one hand, I understand why some people hold the opinion of happiness being attributed to financial situation. To begin with, that great deal of money is highly likely to render invariable predicaments rather eradicable. To be more specific, while the plenitude of people are battling to amass certain concentration of money with a view to addressing pervasive problems, for example inaccessibility of education due to exorbitant tuition fees or paucity of food resulting in undernourishment, affluent individuals are able to make use of any kind of service and meet the requirements of their family members effortlessly, which contribute to convenient life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts