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People eat more processed foods than they did in the past.Why is this?What are the effects of this?

People eat more processed foods than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? mqJq
People opt to eat canned food more as compared to the earlier times. This is because of the busy lifestyle and more workload but it tends to develop various health ailments. My essay will delve into the causes and outcomes of such change. To begin with, the major reason of consuming frozen food is the change in lifestyle pattern. People work day and night so they do not have time to cook food for themselves. Therefore, rather than cooking at home they end up eating canned food which is easily available in supermarkets at low cost. So most of the working folks eat such foods. For instance, a research conducted in US confirmed that 70% of the working people eat packed food. However, it has a plethora of effects on our health. The processed foods have low nutritional content but they are high in fats which increases the weight dramatically. Further, it leads to more serious health ailments which people are unaware of so eatsuch foods on daily basis. It hikes the risk of heart problems since more saturated fats can result in Stroke. For example, many people suffer from arteriosclerosis which is blocked arteries of heart due to excessive consumption of canned foods. In conclusion, although the eating of processed food has increased because of more stressful and busy life while care should be taken to avoid it as it can lead to life-threatening circumstances.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
opt to eat canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the earlier times. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the busy lifestyle and more workload
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it tends to develop various health ailments. My essay will delve into the causes and outcomes of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the major reason of consuming frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle pattern.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
work day and night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have time to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for themselves.
Therefore
,
rather
than cooking at home they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up eating canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
easily
available in supermarkets at low cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
most of the working folks eat such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted in US confirmed that 70% of the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
, it has a plethora of effects on our health. The processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have low nutritional content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are high in fats which increases the weight
dramatically
.
Further
, it leads to more serious health ailments which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
eatsuch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
on daily basis. It hikes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of heart problems since more saturated fats can result in Stroke.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from arteriosclerosis which
is blocked
arteries of heart due to excessive consumption of canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
In conclusion
, although the eating of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more stressful and busy life while care should
be taken
to avoid it as it can lead to life-threatening circumstances.

IELTS essay People eat more processed foods than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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