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Recent year the number of crime committed by young people in major citis throughout the world is increasing.

Recent year the number of crime committed by young people in major citis throughout the world is increasing. 56XdA
In last few years, crime rate in the town is increasing day by day and most of the criminals are young people only. There are several root cause behind it and timely measure can automatically dilute the crime. My points are discussed I the ensuing paragraph. To commence with the reason for increasing young criminal the foremost one is unemployment. Students are studying hard getting good marks and after completion of the course when they come out to seek job but unable to get the work. In order to satisfy the family need they are forced to do crime like pocket chore drugs dealing and more. For instance, According to survey conducted by a reporter from Nigeria, It show that unemployment and other factor as a consequence they become criminals. There are few measure through which crime can be reduce. To embark with,
In last few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in the town is increasing day by day and most of the criminals are young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. There are several root cause behind it and timely measure can
automatically
dilute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. My points
are discussed
I the ensuing paragraph.

To commence with the reason for increasing young criminal the foremost one is unemployment. Students are studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks and after completion of the course when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out to seek job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the work. In order to satisfy the family need they
are forced
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like pocket chore drugs dealing and more.
For instance
, According to survey conducted by a reporter from Nigeria, It
Did you mean "shows"?
show
that unemployment and other factor as a consequence they become criminals.

There are few measure through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
. To embark with,

IELTS essay Recent year the number of crime committed by young people in major citis throughout the world is increasing.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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