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Recent technological developments have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Recent technological developments have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. with this statement? OVER7
It is common for us to use recent technological devices and services such as smartphones and the internet. Some argue that the development of technology has enormous positive changes in human lives. I completely agree with this view because our lives have become convenient and safe. Firstly, new technological development has positively changed people’s lives since their lives are more convenient than before. Thanks to the invention of communication devices, they can keep in touch with others anytime. For instance, it is easy to meet friends or family outside, people sending text messages to notify others that where they are now. In the past, individuals needed to wait for someone at a certain place which was discussed beforehand. Furthermore, using social media, people can make a phone call to friends who live in foreign countries without additional charge. Thus, people’s lives have become more useful. Secondly, people also have benefited from up-to-date technology development because the level of safety has increased. Nowadays, people can live in accommodation which has a great security system. For example, I am living in a condominium, which requires press a cord number to enter the building and therefore only residents can get inside. In addition, it also installs security cameras in the entrance and elevators in case accidents happen. Because of these devices, residents can feel a sense of safety all the time. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that people have received benefits from the latest technology development in their lives since these technologies bring people convenience and safety.
It is common for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recent technological devices and services such as smartphones and the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
have become convenient and safe.

Firstly
, new technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
since their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are more convenient than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Thanks to the invention of communication devices, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with others anytime.
For instance
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends or family outside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sending text messages to notify others that where they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In the past, individuals needed to wait for someone at a certain place which
was discussed
beforehand.
Furthermore
, using social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a phone call to friends who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in foreign countries without additional charge.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
have become more useful.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have benefited from up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the level of safety has increased. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in accommodation which has a great security system.
For example
, I am living in a condominium, which requires press a cord number to enter the building and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
residents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inside.
In addition
, it
also
installs security cameras in the entrance and elevators in case accidents happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these devices, residents can feel a sense of safety all the time.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have received benefits from the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
convenience and safety.

IELTS essay Recent technological developments have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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