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Recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians. Which do you consider to be greater influence.

In recent years, there is a drastic change in each and every field due to rapid advancement in technology. However, recent studies indicate that modern technology have more control over people's live than political leader. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and support my view with examples. Those who believe that tv and internet affect individual's perspective have interesting reasons to support their belief. The most prominent reason behind their opinion is that information such as news are delivered to people at their convenience. This view exist because in modern tv there is record option in which person can record anything and watch later. As a result, people can record or download from internet and watch in their free time. In addition, it is also seen that celebrity or successful person often used by media to advertise different product. The reason is buoyed in the fact that this advertisement have more impact on youngsters and kids. As a consequences, youth will see them as their role model and take them seriously and follow them. On the other hand, politician is not at the back seat. The reason for this is that, they present themselves as a confident person and make eye contact with public, while giving speech. Hence, public find them trustworthy and follow their rules. Furthermore, they can not ignore the reality that lawmakers are the one who make rules and law. As a result, citizens citizens have left any choices but to oblige to the law. My opinion is based on the reason that mass media has diverse range of information. My observation is valid due to the fact that there are many news channel, various multi media platforms who have different information. Hence, it will be very beneficial to people and affect their lives. In conclusion, although government leader have advantage and power over public but accessibility and the alluring delivery of media made media more influential.
In recent years, there is a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in each and every field due to rapid advancement in technology.
However
, recent studies indicate that modern technology have more control over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
than political leader. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and support my view with examples. Those who believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and internet affect individual's perspective have interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to support their belief. The most prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind their opinion is that information such as news
are delivered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at their convenience. This view exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
there is record option in which person can record anything and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
later.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can record or download from internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in their free time.
In addition
, it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that celebrity or successful person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
product. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is buoyed
in the fact that this advertisement have more impact on youngsters and kids. As
The plural noun “consequences” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a consequence” or “consequences”?
a consequences
, youth will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as their role model and take them
seriously
and follow them.
On the other hand
, politician is not at the back seat. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this is that, they present themselves as a confident person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
eye contact with public, while giving speech.
Hence
, public find them trustworthy and follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Furthermore
, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the reality that lawmakers are the one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and law.
As a result
,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
citizens citizens
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
any choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to oblige to the law. My opinion
is based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has diverse range of information. My observation is valid due to the fact that there are
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: “much news”, “a good deal of news”.
many news
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “channels”?
channel
, various multi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information.
Hence
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and affect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
leader have advantage and power over public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accessibility and the alluring delivery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
more influential.
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IELTS essay Recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians. Which do you consider to be greater influence.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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