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Recent research has shown that media like the internet and the television have greater impact on people's life than politician

Recent research has shown that media like the internet and the television have greater impact on people's life than politician kY9Wd
To begin with, although there are several changes show in people'slife, one predominant change is in behaviour. Since, now a days people are workaholic. They donot have enough time to relex their mind. But, when individual have a spare time than that time, they usally like to live alone in their room for using social media on internet and watching televison. Therefore, people become introvert and also have bad impact on their mental and physical health. For instance, people donot meet with their socity in good way and fell more dipreesed. So that are greater influnces which shows in lives Moreover, media is changing the life of people nowadays. , The second greater influnce is to show their statues and showoff their money. Like, thesedays the majority of people are more likely to buy unusal products on media through celebrities, because celebrities have been employed to advertise them. The famous people used in these advertisements make the products more attractive, so people want to purchase them. By doing this, people could show their status in the front of their friends. This may have a greater influence on people's life through media To sum up, not only media have a greater impact on behiviour but also have on attitude towards shopping
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, although there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
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show
in
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people
'
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slife
, one predominant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Since,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are workaholic. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
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relex
their mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when individual have a spare time than that time, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
usally
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone in their room for using social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on internet and watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
televison
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become introvert and
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on their mental and physical health.
For instance
,
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people
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
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meet
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
socity
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way and fell more
Possible spelling mistake found.
dipreesed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that are greater
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnces
which
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shows
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is changing the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
The second greater
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnce
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their statues and showoff their money. Like,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
unusal
products on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
through celebrities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
celebrities have
been employed
to advertise them. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in these advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the products more attractive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their status in the front of their friends. This may have a greater influence on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a greater impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
behiviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have on attitude towards
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
shopping

IELTS essay Recent research has shown that media like the internet and the television have greater impact on people's life than politician

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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