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Reason why you want to study at CRPS

Reason why you want to study at CRPS PW3Xw
When I was a child, I frequently heard my parents’s discussion about the problems that I could not understand. Growing up a little more, I knew that they are public servants, sothey often discuss with each other about work. Therefore, I often heard policy issues, but at that time, I still couldn’t understand all of it. In September 2018, my father had to go on a business in China, and I did have a chance to come with him. Only be seen a part of China at that time, but I saw that it was much more developed than Vietnam. I honestly thought that why there was a difference like that, and asked my father for an answer; and he told me that “ There were various ways to make that difference, if you are curious about that, you have to find out yourself. I used to be like you when I was young, and I was found my passion in my current job. ” Those words of my father inspired my burning passion so much, and since then, I have hoped that I could do a job that is meaningful like my father. After that, when I’m a high school student, my teachers taught me lots of subjects, and I frequently have good marks in social subjects like geography, history. But I still could not be learned details about how Vietnam’s neighboring countries can develop quickly like what I want to know. However, I kept learning not only about ASEAN but also China, Japan, and some developed countries in Asia on my own, from books, the internet, and from my father – a person that inspired me very much. I also attend most of online events about policies or information about countries if I can. I did all those kinds of things whenever I could until I was in grade 11 – the time that I have to decide my future job through a university. I have a respectable senior at my school, Huyen. And when I asked her how to find a major, she told me that the most important thing is choosing something I honestly like and am passionate about. Since Huyen is a first-year university student in Japan this year, she gave me some universities that she had applied. Among them, I finally could find CRPS in Ritsumeikan University – where I can learn about countries in regions, policies, and all things that make a country develop sustainably. I do know that there are a lot of persistent problems like improper housing planning even in the capital of Vietnam that can not be solved right now. My target in the future is to learn the way to solve the problems of not only regional countries in ASEAN, but also developed country like Japan. So by knowledge if I have a chance to study in CRPS, it will help to do my future job, is follow my father’s steps – being a public servant – and contribute even a little to the growth of Vietnam.
When I was a child, I
frequently
heard my
Did you mean "parent’s" or "parents’"?
parents’s
discussion about the problems that I could not understand. Growing up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more, I knew that they are public servants,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sothey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
discuss with each other about work.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
heard policy issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at that time, I
still
couldn’t understand all of it.

In September 2018, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
had to go on a business in China, and I did have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with him.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a part of China at that time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that it was much more developed than Vietnam. I
honestly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that why there was a difference like that, and asked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
for an answer; and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
There were various ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that difference, if you are curious about that, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find out yourself. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be like you when I was young, and I
was found
my passion in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. ” Those words of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
inspired my burning passion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, and since then, I have hoped that I could do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
meaningful like my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
. After that, when I’m a high school student, my teachers taught me lots of subjects, and I
frequently
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in social subjects like geography, history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
still
could not
be learned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about how Vietnam’s neighboring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can develop
quickly
like what I want to know.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
learning not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about ASEAN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
China, Japan, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Asia on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, from books, the internet, and from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a person that inspired me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. I
also
attend most of online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
about policies or information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
if I can.

I did all those kinds of things whenever I could until I was in grade 11
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the time that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide my future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have a respectable senior at my school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huyen
. And when I asked her how to find a major, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is choosing something I
honestly
like and am passionate about. Since
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huyen
is a
first
-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
student in Japan this year, she gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
that she had applied. Among them, I
finally
could find
Possible spelling mistake found.
CRPS
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ritsumeikan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
where I can learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in regions, policies, and all things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop
sustainably
. I do know that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
persistent problems like improper housing planning even in the capital of Vietnam that can not
be solved
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. My target in the future is to learn the way to solve the problems of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in ASEAN,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Japan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
by knowledge if I have a chance to study in
Possible spelling mistake found.
CRPS
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do my future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, is follow my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father’s
steps
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
being a public servant
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
and contribute even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to the growth of Vietnam.
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IELTS essay Reason why you want to study at CRPS

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
508 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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