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Reading versus modern technology

Reading versus modern technology o7Y3
Nowadays many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. The phenomenon makes many people discuss whether it is a positive trend or not. In my opinion, I disagree that it is a positive trend. I think it’s a problem that we need to face. Modern technology is conveinent but many children use them not for studying but for fun. They may use computers to play games or use phones to watch short videos. These are good ways to relax, but many children can’t really control their time so they might forget to do important things like study. When I was in high school, I had some smart classmates who were good at studying at first but failed to get into their dreaming colleges because of losing themselves in computer games. However, the phenomenon has its positive side. It means modern technology has widely spreaded around. Everyone in the society can’t live without them, and they surely bring us convenient lives. When we need to find an article, or look for a book, we don’t need to borrow a lot of heavy books in library but just search them in Internet. Sometime I don’t understand what teacher said in class, so I will watch other teachers’ class on video websites, which makes me master what I should learn. So we should see its good parts. To sum up, we should clearly see the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology. Try to make good use of it to make our lives better.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children no longer read books and
instead
spend their time using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The phenomenon
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makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discuss whether it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend or not.

In my opinion, I disagree that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s a problem that we need to face.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveinent
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them not for studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for fun. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers to play games or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
short videos. These are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ways to relax,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children can’t
really
control their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might forget to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like study. When I was in high school, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
smart classmates who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at studying at
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into their dreaming colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of losing themselves in computer games.

However
, the phenomenon has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side. It means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
widely
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spread", the past tense form of the verb 'spread'?
spreaded
around. Everyone in the society can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without them, and they
surely
bring us convenient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When we need to find an article, or look for a book, we don’t need to borrow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
heavy books in library
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
search them in Internet. Sometime I don’t understand what teacher said in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
other teachers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
on video websites, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me master what I should learn.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parts.

To sum up, we should
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.
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IELTS essay Reading versus modern technology

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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