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In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement kBQR
It is sometimes argued by some people that human life on Earth is becoming harder as time goes on. Resources are rapidly being depleted and the world population continues to grow exponentially. Many people hold the opinion that more money should be invested to research new planets to live on. However, I believe that this idea is unrealistic and money should be used to raise people's living standard as well as to find more practical solutions right here on Earth. On the one hand, life on Earth is becoming more unsustainable. The level of environmental pollution which affects land, water and air is rising rapidly. For example, in Vietnam, thousands of tons of industrial refuse have been discharged into rivers, which has negatively affected aquatic life. Moreover, the world is running out of natural resources as a result of uncontrolled consumption. For instance, as a consequence of industrialization and modernization, fossil fuels have been used uncontrollably to satisfy energy demands. On the other hand, I would argue that spending money to search for other planets is a waste and not practical. Firstly, space exploration would require a huge amount of funding. Indeed, it would take a lot of time and money without any guarantee of success. Secondly, money should be used to raise the living standard of ordinary citizens as well as to improve the lives of those less fortunate. Additionally, it would be more useful and practical to spend money on developing advanced technology which provides renewable resources. In conclusion, while living on Earth may appear to some to be becoming more and more difficult, I believe that financial resources should be used for maintaining and promoting sustainable life on Earth instead of looking for other planets to move to.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is becoming harder as time goes on. Resources are
rapidly
being depleted
and the world population continues to grow
exponentially
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be invested
to research new planets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on.
However
, I believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is unrealistic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to raise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living standard
as well
as to find more practical solutions right here on Earth.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is becoming more unsustainable. The level of environmental pollution which affects land, water and air is rising
rapidly
.
For example
, in Vietnam, thousands of tons of industrial
Probably a preposition is missing after 'refuse'.
refuse have
been discharged
into rivers, which has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
aquatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, the world is running out of natural resources
as a result
of uncontrolled consumption.
For instance
, as a consequence of industrialization and modernization, fossil fuels have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
uncontrollably
to satisfy energy demands.

On the other hand
, I would argue that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to search for other planets is a waste and not practical.
Firstly
, space exploration would require a huge amount of funding.
Indeed
, it would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without any guarantee of success.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to raise the living standard of ordinary citizens
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of those less fortunate.
Additionally
, it would be more useful and practical to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on developing advanced technology which provides renewable resources.

In conclusion
, while living on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
may appear to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be becoming more and more difficult, I believe that financial resources should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for maintaining and promoting sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
instead
of looking for other planets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to.

IELTS essay In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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