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Reading story books is better for children than watching television or playing computer games.Do you agree or disagree？

Reading story books is better for children than watching television or playing computer games. ？ do3XX
The television and the Internet have brought significant changes in our life and diversified modern people’s cultural activity for those children or teenagers. People hold a different view about the review as to whether or reading storybooks exerts a far more beneficial influence on those who are in the formative years compared with watching television or playing plugin games. I think watching Tv playing games are superior to reading storybooks. Admittedly, reading the storybook certainly benefits children. This debate reminds me of my little brother Paul. As a keen lover of reading, he is in the habit of reading extensively, who has already punished several stories through enthusiastic study and constant writing practice. Thus, I have to concede that reading excellent storybooks can stir one’s imagination, stimulate one’s creativity, strengthen one’s literacy, and thus deepen one’s insight into life. Despite this, we can never underestimate the benefits brought about by playing games or watching the tube, firstmost. Tv has visual images and plots which add variety to school life and help children to grasp some class content easier. For instance, documentaries have visual images to ensure that children can understand historic events easily while listening to the instruction of the teacher is sometimes tedious. Besides, learning foreign languages can be an ordeal sometimes, but watching some foreign language channels, such as wristwatch a daily communication of native speakers is much attractive. Also, properly playing on-line games, by occupying time so constructively, makes teenagers contented, with no time for boredom. Meanwhile, playing computer games help develop the players’ intelligence and teamwork spirit because many challenging team games need strategy and cooperation.
The television and the Internet have brought significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our life and diversified modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s cultural activity for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view about the review as to whether or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
storybooks exerts a far more beneficial influence on those who are in the formative years compared with watching television or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
plugin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
storybooks.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the storybook
certainly
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This debate reminds me of my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother Paul. As a keen lover of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, he is in the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
extensively
, who has already punished several stories through enthusiastic study and constant writing practice.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concede that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
excellent storybooks can stir one’s imagination, stimulate one’s creativity, strengthen one’s literacy, and
thus
deepen one’s insight into life.

Despite this, we can never underestimate the benefits brought about by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or watching the tube,
Possible spelling mistake found.
firstmost
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
has visual images and plots which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
variety to school life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grasp
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
content easier.
For instance
, documentaries have visual images to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can understand historic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
easily
while listening to the instruction of the teacher is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
tedious.

Besides
, learning foreign languages can be an ordeal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign language channels, such as wristwatch a daily communication of native speakers is much attractive.
Also
,
properly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, by occupying time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
constructively
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
contented, with no time for boredom. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop the players’ intelligence and teamwork spirit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenging team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
need strategy and cooperation.
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IELTS essay Reading story books is better for children than watching television or playing computer games. ？

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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