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“Globalization and rapid modernization are important issues in modern society, some people believe that these will lead to the dissolution of cultural identity and ethnic diversity, whereas others disagree.”

“Globalization and rapid modernization are important issues in modern society, some people believe that these will lead to the dissolution of cultural identity and ethnic diversity, whereas others disagree. ” MMqbe
Today we have a lot of different modern technologies which are distributed every day. Some people think that rapid modernization can lead to the dissolution of cultural oneness and ethnic variety, however, others prefer to disagree with this opinion. On one hand, society who believe that rapid upgrading and internationalization will lead to destroying their cultural identity and heathenish assortment. Because modern technologies often change their ordinary lives, based on this, some people can be negative for these changes. Nevertheless, it usually depends on when society was born. For instance, if people were born under 1980s period, mostly they would prefer to live in an unchangeable time without innovation and universalizing. On the other hand, humans who disagree with this view. It means that they know how rapid modernization and globalization are important for our earth and lives. Firstly, modern technologies help us to make our life easier and better. For example, without the internet our ordinary life will be definitely otherwise. Secondly, technologies support to make our lives safe. For example, autopilot on plan or car supports us in road or sky. Also, cameras in the street control us to be law-abiding citizens. Modernization and internationalization support us to discover something new. In conclusion, I understand both positions and why they choose them. However, I prefer to agree with people who believe in the positive impact of globalization and rapid modernization.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
which
are distributed
every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
modernization can lead to the dissolution of cultural oneness and ethnic variety,
however
, others prefer to disagree with this opinion.

On one hand, society who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
upgrading and internationalization will lead to destroying their cultural identity and heathenish assortment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, based on this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Nevertheless
, it
usually
depends on when society
was born
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
under 1980s period,
mostly
they would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an unchangeable time without innovation and universalizing.

On the other hand
, humans who disagree with this view. It means that they know how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
modernization and globalization are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our earth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Firstly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easier and better.
For example
, without the internet our ordinary life will be definitely
otherwise
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
safe.
For example
, autopilot on plan or car supports us in road or sky.
Also
, cameras in the street control us to be law-abiding citizens. Modernization and internationalization support us to discover something new.

In conclusion
, I understand both positions and why they choose them.
However
, I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
modernization.
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IELTS essay “Globalization and rapid modernization are important issues in modern society, some people believe that these will lead to the dissolution of cultural identity and ethnic diversity, whereas others disagree. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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