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reaching to faraway places advantages and disadvantages

reaching to faraway places advantages and disadvantages 2aExj
Due to the leaps that we witnessed recently in technology and transportation systems, scientists are able to reach to extremely faraway places. Personally, while it has many merits from pollution and expansion perspectives, it may lead to environment mucking and wars between countries. On the one hand, in spite of the fact that the cost of reaching remote place is madly high, it still offers many merits. In light of this, when people reach to south or north poles, they see vividly pollution consequences; therefore, they would be keener to raise societies' awareness regarding to this dilemma. Furthermore, governments should search for new places to live in soon otherwise our plant would seem to be cramming in the next epoch. For instance, because many cities have congestion in streets and residential areas, their people are enthusiastic to flee it. On the other hand, since exploring arid places is considered a double-edged sword, some disadvantages may arise in this case. For instance, due to the fertility of Antarctica, various see it as a full of benefits land. Once great countries were contestant to govern this spot, this might lead to a third world war. Moreover, when new expeditions are sent there, this could inevitably muck the untouched environment. Melting of ice bergs would be a good example of this distortion in case those envoys weren't wise with those places. In conclusion, as mankind has a modern technology, they are able to reach arctic and farer areas. Although this brought some pros, it still has a few cons.
Due to the leaps that we witnessed recently in technology and transportation systems, scientists are able to reach to
extremely
faraway
places
.
Personally
, while it has
many
merits from pollution and expansion perspectives, it may lead to environment mucking and wars between countries.

On the one hand,
in spite of
the fact that the cost of reaching remote
place
is
madly
high, it
still
offers
many
merits. In light of this, when
people
reach to south or north poles, they
see
vividly
pollution consequences;
therefore
, they would be keener to raise societies' awareness
regarding to
this dilemma.
Furthermore
,
governments
should search for new
places
to
live
in
soon
otherwise
our plant would seem to be cramming in the
next
epoch.
For instance
,
because
many
cities have congestion in streets and residential areas, their
people
are enthusiastic to flee it.

On the other hand
, since exploring arid
places
is considered
a double-edged sword,
some
disadvantages may arise
in this case
.
For instance
, due to the fertility of Antarctica, various
see
it as a full of benefits land. Once great countries were contestant to govern this spot, this might lead to a third world war.
Moreover
, when new expeditions are
sent
there, this could
inevitably
muck the untouched environment. Melting of ice bergs would be a
good
example of this distortion in case those envoys weren't wise with those places.

In conclusion
, as mankind has a modern technology, they are able to reach arctic and
farer
areas. Although this brought
some
pros, it
still
has a few cons.
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IELTS essay reaching to faraway places advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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