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Raising children in joint family rather than nuclear one

Raising children in joint family rather than nuclear one q6wrD
Some people give preference to raise children in joint and extended family compared to nuclear family. I strongly suppport the suggested viewpoint. My inclination is justified further in ensuing paragraphs. The formost argument to support my opinion is, children learn values of sharing and caring in joint family. where child share food and toys with cousins from the tender age and develop the culture of being together in every situation. Child will grow as a better human with these values of sharing compared to a child who is raised alone and do not learn to share. Moerover, in extended family everyone has special role to play. By this i mean that child will adopt different qualities from different personaloties in family. For instance, child will not only learn moral values from grandparents through mythological stories but also sport activities and education help from uncle. So the child have tutor for each and every field for development in his life. To cap it all, child have many resources to explore with large family. However, some may counter claim that there is chance of dispute with extended family. It is some time impossible for people to stay under one roof with different mentality and personal traits, which will affect the child in bad way. With lots of bias and differences between the family members will have effect on mental state of child and it will endup nurturing confusex personality. To conclude, in my opnion it is always better to nurture a child in joint family by allvthe family members which will imbibe moral values and give access to many resources through which child will develop a great personality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give preference to raise children in joint and extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
compared to nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppport
the suggested viewpoint. My inclination
is justified
further
in ensuing paragraphs. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
argument to support my opinion is, children learn values of sharing and caring in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
share food and toys with cousins from the tender age and develop the culture of being together in every situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
will grow as a better human with these values of sharing compared to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who
is raised
alone and do not learn to share.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moerover
, in extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
everyone has special role to play. By this
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
qualities from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
personaloties
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn moral values from grandparents through mythological stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
sport activities and education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from uncle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
have tutor for each and every field for development in his life. To cap it all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources to explore with large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
counter claim
that there is chance of dispute with extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time impossible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay under one roof with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mentality and personal traits, which will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. With lots of bias and differences between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members will have effect on mental state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and it will
Possible spelling mistake found.
endup
nurturing
Possible spelling mistake found.
confusex
personality.
To conclude
, in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opnion
it is always better to nurture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
allvthe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members which will imbibe moral values and give access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will develop a great personality.
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IELTS essay Raising children in joint family rather than nuclear one

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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