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Imprisonment is not always an effective deterrence and many convicts re-offend what are the causes and solution for them

Imprisonment is not always an effective deterrence and many convicts re-offend what are the causes and solution for them 5bnDe
Crime is a serious and growing problem throughout the world. Although those who commit it are put the prison so that they rehabilitate themselves and become a good person once again. But once they are released from prison it is likely to re-offend again however, if proper guidance and support are provided one can reduce the re-offending issues. Firstly, the reason who has committed the crime for the first time will become an offender once again after being released from prison. This happens because they live with other criminals with a lack of guidance and rehabilitation support. In most of the prisons they are not given proper work due to which when they are released, they do not have any skill. Secondly, whenever they are released from prison they are not accepted by society. As a result, they are not given a proper chance to work in the outer world. Hence, they struggle financially which leads them back to do crimes regardless of the consequences. There are two solutions to this problem of the repeating offenders. One way is that whenever any criminal entering the prison than they should be given proper consulting related to the expertise they have in their hands. For example, one who has good knowledge of doing wood carving should be given a task where he/she can upskill their knowledge with some stipend so, whenever they are released, they can live their living with that money and start their own business. Another way is to create a semi-government platform where they can work and showcase their skill and earn money. In conclusion, whenever a first-time offender is released by given proper guidance and support then they will not do the crime again. If the government implements this solution, they might become a contributor in lowering the crime rate throughout the country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is a serious and growing problem throughout the world. Although those who commit it
are put
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they rehabilitate themselves and become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
once they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
it is likely to re-offend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
however
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
guidance and support
are provided
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the re-offending issues.

Firstly
, the reason who has committed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for the
first
time will become an offender once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
after being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with other criminals with a lack of guidance and rehabilitation support. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
work due to which when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
, they do not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Secondly
, whenever they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by society.
As a result
, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
chance to work in the outer world.
Hence
, they struggle
financially
which leads them back to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
regardless of the consequences.

There are two solutions to this problem of the repeating offenders. One way is that whenever any criminal entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
than they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
consulting related to the expertise they have in their hands.
For example
, one who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge of doing wood carving should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a task where he/she can upskill their knowledge with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stipend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, whenever they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their living with that money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. Another way is to create a semi-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
platform where they can work and showcase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and earn money.

In conclusion
, whenever a
first
-time offender is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
guidance and support then they will not do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implements this solution, they might become a contributor in lowering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate throughout the country.
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IELTS essay Imprisonment is not always an effective deterrence and many convicts re-offend what are the causes and solution for them

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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