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ARIAL VIEW OF GRANGE PARK

ARIAL VIEW OF GRANGE PARK dkOw6
In these 2 arial view showed of Grange park Arnold avenue in 1920 and today after some major changes in the layout of the park. Comparing the Arnold avenue in 1920 and today, there is massive change in the geography of the park. Starting from the north entrance on the right side the is seats, rose garden and then again seats. Also, all the seats are reoriented to center of the park around the rose garden where there was fountain. On the left there was again a rose garden and pond for water plant which is replaced by the cafe and children play area. Previously, from the south entrance on the left it was symmetrical from the north entrance right portion but currently it is removed from the location and the aphitheatre for concert is constructed at center left from the south entrance to attract visitors. from the right the glass house attraction is demolished and water feature contrived.
In these 2
Possible spelling mistake found.
arial
view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
of Grange park Arnold avenue in 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the layout of the park.

Comparing the Arnold avenue in 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there is massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the geography of the park. Starting from the north
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
on the right side the is seats, rose garden and then again seats.
Also
, all the seats
are reoriented
to center of the park around the rose garden where there was fountain. On the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
there was again a rose garden and pond for water plant which
is replaced
by the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and children play area. Previously, from the south
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
it was symmetrical from the north
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
right portion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
it
is removed
from the location and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aphitheatre
for concert
is constructed
at center
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
from the south
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
to attract visitors.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
the right the glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
attraction
is demolished
and water feature contrived.
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IELTS essay ARIAL VIEW OF GRANGE PARK

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
159 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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