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Question: Wealthy countries should accept refugees and provide them with basic assistance like food and shelter. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

eople who are considered as refugees has a right for basic amenities and they need to be provided by the governments with larger economy. However, I strongly agree with this statement and will be discussing my views in this essay. Every human being on this planet deserves to live with dignity and must have access to all the basic needs, irrespective of their religion, sex and nationality. Refugees are the left out people after a war occurrence between two countries or the illegal immigrants, who entered an another country for survival purposes. Generally war refugees are innocent and their financial situation is completely broken. In such situations, governments of wealthy countries must lend their helping hand to the people, who lost everything due to war and accept them as first grade citizens. In Obama Administration, the government has offered citizenship to many refugees, which was considered as the most noble deed, even by the Native Americans. People try to enter as illegal immigrants from poor countries like Mexico and Africa to USA, in order to lead a good life by earning money. In some countries, refugees are treated as slaves and are even sent to prison. Whenever a refugee is given a chance to live in the country, by accepting them as citizens, then there is a great chance for the rise in the country’s economy. Rich countries have a scarcity for hard core labor employees and most refugees who are considered as very hardworking people can easily perform these jobs. By accepting refugees and providing them with basic needs, would definitely build a good will for the country in the long run. Despite being a refugee, they must be allowed to live in peace and dignity along with other citizens in the country to maintain the harmony. Every life is precious in this world, and governments must consider refugees by treating them like their own law abiding citizens.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
eople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
has a right for basic
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
amenities and
they need to
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
with larger economy.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and will be discussing my views in this essay.

Every human being on this planet deserves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with dignity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have access to all the basic needs, irrespective of their religion, sex and nationality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refugees
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after a war occurrence between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or the
The use of “illegal” to describe a person, rather than a person’s action, can be regarded as offensive. Consider an alternative.
illegal immigrants
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
entered an another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for survival purposes.
Generally
war
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
are innocent and their financial situation is completely broken. In such situations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
lend their helping hand to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lost everything due to war and accept them as
first
grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. In Obama Administration, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has offered citizenship to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
, which
was considered
as the most noble deed, even by the Native Americans.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
try to enter as
The use of “illegal” to describe a person, rather than a person’s action, can be regarded as offensive. Consider an alternative.
illegal immigrants
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Mexico and Africa
A determiner is probably missing here: “to the USA”.
to USA
, in order to lead a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life by earning money. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
are treated
as slaves and are even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to prison. Whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugee
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, by accepting them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, then there is a great chance for the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a scarcity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
core labor employees and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hardworking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
perform these jobs. By accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
and providing them with basic needs, would definitely build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the long run.

Despite being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugee
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in peace and dignity along with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to maintain the harmony. Every life is precious in this world, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
by treating them like their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
law abiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
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IELTS essay Question: Wealthy countries should accept refugees and provide them with basic assistance like food and shelter.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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