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Question: The man expresses his opinion of the university’s plan to add a new science course requirement. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

Question: The man expresses his opinion of the university’s plan to add a new science course requirement. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
There is a common belief that technological advancements have made many traditional skills and practices irrelevant today. Modernization has certainly changed the way we live. However, I don’t think that technology has killed tradition. We don’t want to live in caves just because our ancestors did so. Technology has certainly made such ways of life obsolete and I feel that it is a positive development. If technology develops, that is because people want it to develop. All the facilities and amenities that we enjoy today are the products of technological advancement. If there was no technology we would still be living in caves, hunting animals for food. Technology cannot or will not change traditional ways of living if people want to preserve them. We can find examples of this in societies all over the world. For example, my grandmother still makes pickles in the traditional way. She doesn’t use preservatives although they are readily available now. Likewise, my mother still cooks fish curry in clay pots. She likes to wear handmade saris although machine made saris are also available today. India still has a booming handloom industry. These are all examples of how people preserve their traditions. Just because the world has advanced technologically, nobody is forcing people to change their way of life. They embrace change only when they want to do. Now if we look at this from another angle it is not hard to see that modern appliances are a boon for busy people. Many working couples can’t imagine a life without washing machines, refrigerators or dishwashers. Most of them have given up traditional ways of cooking and cleaning. It is a choice mandated by circumstances. To conclude, I certainly don’t believe that technological advancements have caused traditional ways of life to die out. Technology has merely presented another option. It is up to us to decide whether we want to embrace modern ways or traditional ways
There is a common belief that technological advancements have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and practices irrelevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Modernization has
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
However
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has killed tradition.

We don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in caves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our ancestors did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
certainly
made such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
obsolete and I feel that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
develops,
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
it to develop. All the facilities and amenities that we enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are the products of technological advancement. If there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we would
still
be living in caves, hunting animals for food.

Technology cannot or will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of living if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to preserve them. We can find examples of this in societies all over the world.
For example
, my grandmother
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
pickles in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
. She doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
preservatives although they are
readily
available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Likewise
, my mother
still
cooks fish curry in clay pots. She likes to wear handmade saris although machine made saris are
also
available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. India
still
has a booming
Possible spelling mistake found.
handloom
industry. These are all examples of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preserve their traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world has advanced
technologically
, nobody is forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They embrace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if we look at this from another angle it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that modern appliances are a boon for busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
working couples can’t imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without washing machines, refrigerators or dishwashers. Most of them have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of cooking and cleaning. It is a choice mandated by circumstances.

To conclude
, I
certainly
don’t believe that technological advancements have caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
merely
presented another option. It is up to us to decide whether we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to embrace modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ways
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: The man expresses his opinion of the university’s plan to add a new science course requirement. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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