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Q3. 15 State University is starting a new policy that requires all freshmen to live on campus. The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion v.1

Q3. 15 State University is starting a new policy that requires all freshmen to live on campus. The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion v. 1
Education is a fundamental right of each and every body. Although, many people support non chargeable class, I think in reverse manner and partially agree with a study without the burden of fees. My inclination is justified in following paragraphs. First of all, education gives knowledge and skills to people. This basic knowledge will help them to acquire more qualification and more likely to find an employment. So, once they get employed, they can earn higher salaries. In addition to this, educated human serves positively in our society. For instance, at school children learn about moral values such as sharing and tolerance. Moreover, it is a human tendency to attract more at "free" word. So, once every children gets basic education, it helps them for their own as well as society growth. This is regardless of that person wealthy or not. As a coin has two sides, this argument also has dual side. Some people believe that, if study becomes freer than every individual will be literate. Consequently, every individual expects good job and no labour jobs. This mindset leads them unemployed. Unemployment leads several mental problems such as stress, depression and etc. And, in such kind of problems some people might commit suicide. Thus to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite of making study completely free, I would suggest to make only primary schooling at free of cost. Also, government should create some policies to help students who really wanted to gain higher qualification. So, they can learn with any distraction and discrimination.
Education is a fundamental right of each and every body. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non chargeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in reverse manner and
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with a study without the burden of fees. My inclination
is justified
in following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, education gives knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This basic knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to acquire more qualification and more likely to find an employment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed, they can earn higher salaries.
In addition
to this, educated human serves
positively
in our society.
For instance
, at school children learn about moral values such as sharing and tolerance.
Moreover
, it is a human tendency to attract more at
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
free
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
word.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, once every children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
basic education, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as well
as society growth. This is regardless of that person wealthy or not.

As a coin has two sides, this argument
also
has dual side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, if study becomes freer than every individual will be literate.
Consequently
, every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and no
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
jobs. This mindset leads them unemployed. Unemployment leads several mental problems such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. And, in such kind of problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might commit suicide.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to wrap up the discussion, it can
be said
that
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
making study completely free, I would suggest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
primary schooling at free of cost.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students who
really
wanted to gain higher qualification.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can learn with any distraction and discrimination.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Q3. 15 State University is starting a new policy that requires all freshmen to live on campus. The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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