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Q3. 3: The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

Q3. 3: The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Curing the illness is important, but not as significant as preventing the onset of diseases is the concern by some and Government financial aid should be allocated accordingly. In my opinion, I agree that prevention is better than cure to raise a healthy community A good reason to provide more funds towards research in the area of medicine is justified by the number of increasing cancer patient’s day by day. Although the governments spend a lot of money for treatment, but regardless the number of deaths or patients affected by this deadly disease are not declining. Our only hope is to find a solution to prevent the disease by allocating more research funds in this area. Another point to consider is having future generation that is healthy and to see our children free of diseases such as obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. Funds are required in the area to educate young children on the benefits of healthy eating and exercising. Such trainings, should, therefore, create a company where youngsters can lead a healthy life. Finally, more aid towards finding the root cause and preventing it will benefit a wider population as less money will be required for treatment of diseases. Healthy nation will bring more economical advantages to the country as a fact that healthy individuals outperform others at work place. Furthermore, heath also brings happiness as is seen by the example of the Netherlands, which is considered happier place to live and raise family and the citizens are very fit and active. In conclusion, government needs to allocate more funds for important causes of preventing health issues with research or awareness training is a must to have a healthy world and this will have a positive impact by having less ill people.
Curing the illness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as significant as preventing the onset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is the concern by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
financial aid should
be allocated
accordingly
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that prevention is better than cure to raise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
community


A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to provide more funds towards research in the area of medicine
is justified
by the number of increasing cancer patient’s day by day. Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for treatment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
regardless the number of deaths or patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
are not declining. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hope is to find a solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
by allocating more research funds in this area.

Another point to consider is having future generation
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our children free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. Funds
are required
in the area to educate young children on the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating and exercising. Such trainings, should,
therefore
, create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where youngsters can lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life.

Finally
, more aid towards finding the root cause and preventing it will benefit a wider population as less money will
be required
for treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Healthy
nation will bring more economical advantages to the country as a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
individuals outperform others at work place.
Furthermore
, heath
also
brings happiness as is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the example of the Netherlands, which
is considered
happier place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and raise family and the citizens are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fit and active.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to allocate more funds for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
causes of preventing health issues with research or awareness training is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
world and this will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact by having less ill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Q3. 3: The man expresses his opinion about the announcement. State his opinion and explain the reasons that he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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