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q3. Library enlargement. State what is the man's opinion and the reasons she gives for having that opinion. v.1

q3. Library enlargement. State what is the man's opinion and the reasons she gives for having that opinion. v. 1
There’s a belief that both the parents should be equally responsible for the upbringing of a child. I completely agree with this view and discuss the arguments in its favour in this essay. To begin with, if one parent takes the lead in bringing up the child, then it does present some problems in the overall development of the young mind. This is because, there will always be a missing factor due to minimal involvement of one parent. Moreover, one parent might not be able to devote full attention towards the upbringing due to multifarious reasons. Besides that, this might also lead to some sort of detest towards the life partner, if one observes resistance in the willingness to take charge of the little one. Alternatively, if the responsibility is equally shared between the couple, such feelings are rare to breed. Nevertheless, it is an irrefutable fact that the involvement of both parents leads to the holistic development of a child. This can be done by giving an equal contribution in spending quality time with the young one, dividing time as per their availability. For instance, father and mother, both can share responsibilities related to academics, play time, watching TV together or may be fixing a family game night on any one of the days. This will not only develop the child holistically, but may strengthen the relationship between husband and wife as a couple. In conclusion, while the involvement of a single parent in grooming the child causes some issues in terms of the kid’s well-being and inadequate amount of quality time, equal contribution of both parents in the same regard presents benefits of the holistic development of a child and a stronger bond between the married couple.
There’s a belief that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be
equally
responsible for the upbringing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and discuss the arguments in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
takes the lead in bringing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, then it does present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in the
overall
development of the young mind. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there will always be a missing factor due to minimal involvement of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
Moreover
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
might not be able to devote full attention towards the upbringing due to multifarious reasons.
Besides
that, this might
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of detest towards the life partner, if one observes resistance in the willingness to take charge of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one.
Alternatively
, if the responsibility is
equally
shared between the couple, such feelings are rare to breed.

Nevertheless
, it is an irrefutable fact that the involvement of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
leads to the holistic development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. This can
be done
by giving an equal contribution in spending quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the young one, dividing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as per their availability.
For instance
, father and mother, both can share responsibilities related to academics, play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, watching TV together or may be fixing a family game night on any one of the days. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
holistically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may strengthen the relationship between husband and wife as a couple.

In conclusion
, while the involvement of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in grooming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues in terms of the kid’s well-being and inadequate amount of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, equal contribution of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the same regard presents benefits of the holistic development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and a stronger bond between the married couple.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q3. Library enlargement. State what is the man's opinion and the reasons she gives for having that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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