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Q: Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Q: Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? WRVq
People are becoming sick day by day and stress is the major reason behind this. This essay will discuss the main causes of stress-related sickness including workload and increase in desires. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including proper division of the work and diverting the mind in meditation. People are working for longer hours nowadays to complete their work. Moreover, over time their desires have also been increased. They are living in a society where they have to work hard to fulfill their major necessities and sometimes they also buy unnecessary things to maintain their status in public. To illustrate, people need money to provide food, education for children, health, and security to families. Besides this, they also have desires to buy a big house, car, and other luxurious gadgets. To achieve all these basic needs and overwhelming desires they have to work hard which not only cause tension in their mind but also affect their health by taking stress. People can curb this problem by dividing their work with others and can also meditate to relax their minds. When they start dividing their workload with others they will find that work is done in a more effective way and on time and when they start meditating their mind, they get relaxed and feel more positive. To exemplify, In many companies, managers distribute work among all employees equally so that productivity can be increased. Along with that, they can meditate to introduce themselves to the real meaning of life. As a result, they get some time to spend with their families and feel more optimistic. Therefore, modulation of work and meditation can help to overcome the illness that comes from stress. To recapitulate, illness cause by stress is quite common nowadays. This essay discussed that how work pressure and needless demands are the key reasons behind sickness come from stress. This essay also suggested solutions to this problem are twofold: splitting work among others and relaxing the mind with meditation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are becoming sick day by day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is the major reason behind this. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the main causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related sickness including workload and increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solutions to these problems including proper division of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and diverting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in meditation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are working for longer hours nowadays to complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, over time their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
have
also
been increased
. They are living in a society where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fulfill their major necessities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things to maintain their status in public. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need money to provide food, education for children, health, and security to families.
Besides
this, they
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, car, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
luxurious gadgets. To achieve all these basic needs and overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause tension in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affect their health by taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can curb this problem by dividing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with others and can
also
meditate to relax their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
dividing their workload with others they will find that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is done
in a more effective way and on time and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
meditating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed and feel more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. To exemplify, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, managers distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
among all employees
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that productivity can
be increased
. Along with that, they can meditate to introduce themselves to the real meaning of life.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to spend with their families and feel more optimistic.
Therefore
, modulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and meditation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to overcome the illness that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To recapitulate, illness cause by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is quite common nowadays. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure and needless demands are the key reasons behind sickness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested solutions to this problem are twofold: splitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
among others and relaxing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
with meditation.
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IELTS essay Q: Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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