Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. n3ne
There have been various changes in societal structure during past decade. This is illustrated in children, as obesity seemed to have escalated almost by 20% in western society. The preliminary reason responsible for this, is the choice of food, followed by the lifestyle and genes. Firstly, there has been a complete shift in the diet patterns, where nutritious food is less likely to be consumed by everyone. When it comes to kids, they follow the same trend, for example gobbling unhealthy junk food. The reason behind this is ease of availability and cooking. Secondly, mobile phones and televisions are chosen by majority of preschoolers and teenager in their middle childhood as leisure activities. Thus, they had limited exposure in playgrounds leading them to lose the opportunity for burning fats and end up with extra kilograms. Thirdly, heredity is responsible for higher body weight, although, it seems to have less impact on the percentage of population. However, its effects can be controlled if precautions are taken during early ages. On the other side, these habits may have a serious impact in future generation. As obese teens grew into adults, they tend to be lethargic and uninterested towards physical work. This further increase obesity which is the root cause of various other diseases including diabetes and heart stoke. Higher body mass also impacts an individual’s personality and confidence level. It is observed that, bulky people frequently feel nervous during public appearances and avoid being leaders. To summarize, it is correctly said that a healthy mind rests in a healthy body. It is a social responsibility to nurture physically and mentally fit people right from their early stages, for a better world.
There have been various
changes
in societal structure during past decade. This
is illustrated
in children, as obesity seemed to have escalated almost by 20% in western society. The preliminary reason responsible for this, is the choice of food, followed by the lifestyle and genes.

Firstly
, there has been a complete shift in the diet patterns, where nutritious food is less likely to
be consumed
by everyone. When it
comes
to kids, they follow the same trend,
for example
gobbling unhealthy junk food. The reason behind this is
ease
of availability and cooking.

Secondly
, mobile phones and televisions
are chosen
by majority of preschoolers and
teenager
in their middle childhood as leisure activities.
Thus
, they had limited exposure in playgrounds leading them to lose the opportunity for burning fats and
end
up with extra kilograms.
Thirdly
, heredity is responsible for higher body weight, although, it seems to have less impact on the percentage of population.
However
, its effects can
be controlled
if precautions
are taken
during early ages.

On the other side, these habits may have a serious impact in future generation. As obese teens grew into adults, they tend to be lethargic and uninterested towards physical work. This
further
increase obesity which is the root cause of various other diseases including diabetes and heart stoke. Higher body mass
also
impacts an individual’s personality and confidence level. It
is observed
that, bulky
people
frequently
feel nervous during public appearances and avoid being leaders.

To summarize
, it is
correctly
said that a healthy mind rests in a healthy body. It is a social responsibility to nurture
physically
and mentally fit
people
right from their early stages, for a better world.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: