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Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. D1P6
Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of people who express concern regarding the effective way to cope with criminals. However, it is a controversial issue that people should educate and do some job training for the offenders rather than send them to jails. From my perspective, I just partly agree with this opinion because of the following reasons. Firstly, I strongly believe that the main function of prisons is punishing the criminals. Because individuals have to be responsible for their behavior, offenders have to receive suitable punishments for the crime that they committed. Therefore, dispossessing criminals from freedom until they feel regret for what they did is necessary. Secondly, jails play an essential role in ensuring the public security. To be specific, severe punishment such as life imprisonment is an effective way to stop and prevent the number of criminals from appearances. For example, robbers pose a serious threat to public safety so they need to be isolated from society until they could distinguish right from wrong. Additionally, It is also the best way to calm the public opinions, especially the pains of victims. Nevertheless, it is not to say that we should ignore the prisoner's opportunities to come back to society. In this case, educating and job training are effective tools to support them become people who can make contributions to society. However, this way is only right when they can recognize their mistakes. In conclusion, although there are some doubts about the jail's functions, I still believe they play an indispensable role in society.
Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who express concern regarding the effective way to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
However
, it is a controversial issue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should educate and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job training for the offenders
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to jails. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.

Firstly
, I
strongly
believe that the main function of prisons is punishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be responsible for their behavior, offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
receive suitable punishments for the crime that they committed.
Therefore
, dispossessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from freedom until they feel regret for what they did is necessary.

Secondly
, jails play an essential role in ensuring the public security. To be specific, severe punishment such as life imprisonment is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from appearances.
For example
, robbers pose a serious threat to public safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need to
be isolated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
until they could distinguish right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Additionally
, It is
also
the best way to calm the public opinions,
especially
the pains of victims.

Nevertheless
, it is not to say that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the prisoner's opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In this case
, educating and job training are effective tools to support them become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, this way is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
right when they can recognize their mistakes.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doubts about the jail's functions, I
still
believe they play an indispensable role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.

IELTS essay Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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