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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). gQLL
Children’s education has always been a highly debated issue, not only by the parents but also as a society in general. Every few years new ideas emerge and people want them to be included in the curriculum. One of these recent suggestions is to oblige young adolescents to perform voluntary community work such as working on social projects in their city. Personally, I think that forcing teenagers to commit to extra tasks would be counterproductive for the following reasons. Firstly, children are already overloaded with too much work. Currently, children spend a lot of time at school, on top of that they have a lot of homework. Additionally, schools are becoming more and more demanding and children have less and less time to play and be children. For example, there are children that I know who wake up before 6 to go to school and come back after 5 in the evening. Then their parents send them to other classes, such as dance, music, or even extra Math or English classes. Only to come home around 8, after which they still need to finish their homework, eat, and go to bed. Therefore, adding another few extra hours of voluntary work will not be helping them, it will only make them feel worse Second, volunteering should be done of one’s own free will and making it mandatory defeats its purpose. Moreover, this is especially true when dealing with teenagers, which are notorious for hating anything that has to be done. For instance, when telling a teen that he or she will have to go clean up the neighbourhood because it will make the place better as well as make him or her feel better, the resentment will only grow. Therefore, it is paramount that volunteering should not be forced upon them, but rather give them some sort of choice. Providing options has more chance of fostering some responsibility, rather than being counterproductive. In conclusion, obliging children to volunteer outside school as part of their curriculum is an unhealthy idea. However, I personally believe that volunteering could be part of a schooling program if it were offered on a free basis. Additionally, it should replace certain classes, instead of added to the already overtaxed time of the children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
education has always been a
highly
debated issue, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by the parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as a society
in general
. Every few years new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
emerge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want them to
be included
in the curriculum. One of these recent suggestions is to oblige young adolescents to perform voluntary community work such as working on social projects in their city.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that forcing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to commit to extra tasks would be counterproductive for the following reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already overloaded with too much work.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
on top of that
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
homework.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are becoming more and more demanding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have less and less time to play and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that I know who wake up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
6 to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back after 5 in the evening. Then their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to other classes, such as dance, music, or even extra Math or English classes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home around 8, after which they
still
need to finish their homework, eat, and go to bed.
Therefore
, adding another few extra hours of voluntary work will not be helping them, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel worse

Second, volunteering should
be done
of one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
free will and making it mandatory defeats its purpose.
Moreover
, this is
especially
true when dealing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, which are notorious for hating anything that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
.
For instance
, when telling a teen that he or she will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go clean up the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the place better
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him or her feel better, the resentment will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
grow.
Therefore
, it is paramount that volunteering should not
be forced
upon them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of choice. Providing options has more chance of fostering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibility,
rather
than being counterproductive.

In conclusion
, obliging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to volunteer outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as part of their curriculum is an unhealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
However
, I
personally
believe that volunteering could be part of a schooling program if it
were offered
on a free basis.
Additionally
, it should replace certain classes,
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the already overtaxed time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?