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many people use distance-learning programmes to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

many people use distance-learning programmes to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. YAJV
These days, we can easily find that there are various ways to choose when we talk about educational ways. However, whether we should study ourselves through distance-learning programs or go to universities to get advanced education is a controversial issue. I firmly believe that attending to colleges or universities is apparently more beneficial. First, it is obvious that students in universities gain more essential abilities rather than just learn theoretical knowledge. This is because, with the guidance and communication with different brilliant professors in person, students obtain the capacities of how to think critically as well as how to analyze and solve a problem, which is crucial to their prospective careers, as most employers prefer critical-thinking talents. Thus, attending universities is much more helpful for students to develop brilliant abilities. Moreover, universities are the largest places containing a huge amount of resources, not only academic resources but also teaching equipment that cannot be provided by the distance-learning program. Students could put what they have learned into practice or learn new technology from this equipment, which, as well give them a plate to do scientific research which may contribute to the society when getting success. Universities can supply students more than what we mentioned above which cannot acquire from distance-learning. That is not to say that distance-learning program is useless. Because of the limitations in time, money, and distance, some people who cannot go to universities but still want to learn what they are interested in are just suitable for this program. However, people in such special needs are in minority and most of them would like to get a better education in universities. In summarize, studying in universities takes much more advantages than a distance-learning program. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the needs of a specific part of people to provide some suitable courses in the distance-learning program. Only by doing so can we meet the requirements of most people
These days, we can
easily
find that there are various ways to choose when we talk about educational ways.
However
, whether we should study ourselves through distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
or go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advanced education is a controversial issue. I
firmly
believe that attending to colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is
apparently
more beneficial.

First
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
gain more essential abilities
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn theoretical knowledge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, with the guidance and communication with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brilliant professors in person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain the capacities of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
critically
as well
as how to analyze and solve a problem, which is crucial to their prospective careers, as most employers prefer critical-thinking talents.
Thus
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is much more helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop brilliant abilities.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are the largest places containing a huge amount of resources, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teaching equipment that cannot
be provided
by the distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
could put what they have learned into practice or learn new technology from this equipment, which,
as well
give them a plate to do scientific research which may contribute to the society when getting success.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
can supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more than what we mentioned above which cannot acquire from distance-learning.

That is
not to say that distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is useless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the limitations in time, money, and distance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
want to learn what they
are interested
in are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
suitable for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such special needs are in minority and most of them would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education in universities.

In summarize, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
takes much more advantages than a distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the needs of a specific part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suitable courses in the distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of most
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people

IELTS essay many people use distance-learning programmes to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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