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Punished or praised at school

Punished or praised at school m2pN8
Commencing with, some people argue that students perform better at school if they are being praised for their good job but the others claim that punishment always has the great answer. In my opinion, I agree with the first idea. Host of us are too well aware that punishment some times can be effective to protect people from committing the crime and school will be deteriorated into chaos if there was no punishment so students behave in a way that is conducive to a peaceful and functioning society. However, the effects of praising children is more. Students will not have stress so they act better within their classmattes, and we will have a better student-teacher interactions. It's good to be mentioned that students won't act aggressively to their parents at home because of being punished. Consequently, punishment can lead to the low-self esteem which have the unfavorable effect on them as well as they can have mental problems while being praised always have great effect on their attitude
Commencing with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform better at school if they are
being praised
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
always has the great answer. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Host of us are too well aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times can be effective to protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing the crime and school will
be deteriorated
into chaos if there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
behave in a way
that is
conducive to a peaceful and functioning society.
However
, the effects of praising children is more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they act better within their
Possible spelling mistake found.
classmattes
, and we will have a better student-teacher interactions. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
be mentioned
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
won't act
aggressively
to their parents at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being punished
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can lead to the low-self esteem which have the unfavorable effect on them
as well
as they can have mental problems while
being praised
always have great effect on their attitude

IELTS essay Punished or praised at school

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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