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Pros and cons of keeping animals in zoos..

Pros and cons of keeping animals in zoos. . gqnVa
Nowadays a lot animals live in zoos. It is beneficial for them. But others protest keeping animals in zoos. They claim that they should live in wild life and keeping them in a captivity is cruel and inhumane. The following essay presents some pros and cons of the phenomenon. First of all, animals kept in zoos get a professional medical care which is unavailable in their natural habitat. Secondly, animals have plenty of food in zoos and there is no problem to feed themselves. In zoos they usually have two or three meals in a day. Moreover, animals are safe in zoos. They are protected from hunters. Added to that, wildlife society and zoo employees help species which are in danger of extinction. On the other hand, animals in the zoos are not in their natural habitat. They are forced to live in an unnatural habitat. Usually they are kept in small areas and cages, so that they are not free. And sometimes there is no enough living space which causes them to be more agressive. What's more they have really stressful life. People, especially children like watching animals' lifestyle. Animals might be really tired standing in the sun and presenting their colourful skin or fur. And this condition has a negative impact on their natural birth rate. So, the climate, they are forced to live in, does not suit them. To sum up, keeping animals in captivity can be cruel, but it is necessary. Frankly, it is a good idea of keeping animals in zoos, especially, endangered species (for example, pandas and rhinos) because they are in safe there.
Nowadays a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in zoos. It is beneficial for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others protest keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos. They claim that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in wild life and keeping them in a captivity is cruel and inhumane. The following essay presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons of the phenomenon.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a professional medical care which is unavailable in their natural habitat.

Secondly
,
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animals
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of food in zoos and there is no problem to feed themselves. In
The comma is probably missing here: "zoos, they".
zoos they
usually
have two or three meals in a day.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are safe in zoos. They
are protected
from hunters.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to that, wildlife society and zoo employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
species which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the zoos are not in their natural habitat. They
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an unnatural habitat.
Usually
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
areas and cages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are not free. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
living space which causes them to be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
.

What's more they have
really
stressful life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
,
especially
children like watching animals' lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
might be
The extreme adjective for tired is "exhausted".
really tired
standing in the sun and presenting their
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
skin or fur. And this condition has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their natural birth rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the climate, they
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in, does not suit them.

To sum up, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captivity can be cruel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is necessary.
Frankly
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos,
especially
, endangered species (
for example
, pandas and rhinos)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in safe there.
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IELTS essay Pros and cons of keeping animals in zoos. .

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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