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Professional sportsmen and sportswomen and professional entertainers can often command enormous salaries today and this situation reflects society’s dependence on being entertained. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Professional sportsmen and sportswomen and professional entertainers can often command enormous salaries today and this situation reflects society’s dependence on being entertained. with this? W16e
It is no secret that today’s entertainment industry is extremely popular, with nearly everyone being engaged at some time in watching TV shows, movies and sports games. The North American sports industry alone generates a massive $67. 7 billion every year. With the present emphasis on entertainment, sportsmen and women and professional entertainers can earn enormous salaries, with figures in the millions for one game, appearance or film. This situation certainly does reflect today’s society’s obsession with entertainment. Many people argue that celebrities do not deserve such payment when work in other professions considered of equal or higher value to society is underpaid. A-list celebrities can make over $20 million per movie, whilst many average workers can barely make ends meet. Of course there are lots of people who say that there are better ways the money could be used, rather than allowing such a vast amount to go to just one person. This is a fairly naive point of view, though. So long as people wish to watch entertainment, advertising in turn will be present and the most watched celebrities will be able to earn high salaries, as their presence will ensure the high viewing figures the advertisers desire. Though celebrities and sportsmen and sportswomen often make very large sums of money, it can also be seen as unfair to say that they do not deserve it or propose their money be used for something else. While it is true that they did not find a cure for cancer or made a life-changing scientific discovery, their hard work and expertise created a product that the public wants to see and the high payment merely reflects their value. In conclusion, it is clear that today’s society is indeed a society obsessed with being entertained and the high salaries paid to those who entertain society clearly reflect this. The high payments, however, are not necessarily out of place or undeserved.
It is no secret that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s entertainment industry is
extremely
popular, with
nearly
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
being
engaged at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies and sports games. The North American sports industry alone generates a massive $67. 7 billion every year. With the present emphasis on entertainment, sportsmen and women and professional entertainers can earn enormous salaries, with figures in the millions for one game, appearance or film. This situation
certainly
does reflect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
obsession with entertainment.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do not deserve such payment when work in other professions considered of equal or higher value to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is underpaid. A-list
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
over $20 million per movie, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
average workers can
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Of course
there are lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who say that there are better ways the money could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
rather
than allowing such a vast amount to go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one person. This is a
fairly
naive point of view, though.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
long as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
entertainment, advertising in turn will be present and the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
will be able to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries, as their presence will ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
viewing figures the advertisers desire.

Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and sportsmen and sportswomen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large sums of money, it can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as unfair to say that they do not deserve it or propose their money be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for something else. While it is true that they did not find a cure for cancer or made a life-changing scientific discovery, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and expertise created a product that the public wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
payment
merely
reflects their value.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
indeed
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
obsessed with
being entertained
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries paid to those who entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
clearly
reflect this. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
payments,
however
, are not
necessarily
out of place or undeserved.
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IELTS essay Professional sportsmen and sportswomen and professional entertainers can often command enormous salaries today and this situation reflects society’s dependence on being entertained. with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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