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Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. LrBYV
The issue of being a sports idol as a perfect person has grown in importance from some parts of society over the past few decades, However, I’m in vehement disagreement with this idea that they must be always good role model for their young’ fans. No one is perfect and making all of people feel pleased is difficult. If the society expects good behavior from famous athletes in all times, this issue will put them under a lot of tension and pressure because they are led to be scrutinized by thousands eyes to fishing their imperfection. Although it may seem that this issue has positive influenced on children, by comparison, not only does sports people are brought to become more isolated from society, also this situation drives them into some serious psychological injuries like depression or suicides. For instance, Wayne Rooney, a great soccer player, was drawn in a bad mood while he was under social pressure as far as he was made depressed and finally he became out of condition. As idols, athletes must do vigorous exercise whereas they are tolerating prolonged hours of training, which provides a minus context to have lack of sleep and leisure times. Indeed, more training, more limitation. In addition, they used to exercise in professional sports center while they can’t visit their family for a long time. for example, Olympic players have to spend their time in special camps for many mounts far from their family and friends. Due to the reasons are mentioned above, I would argue that being a hero because children fallow athletes all times, not only has negative influence, but also makes sports man feel hurt mentally. The issue of being a sports idol as a perfect person has grown in importance from a number of parts of society over the past few decades. However, I’m in vehement disagreement with this idea that they must be always good role model for their young’ fans. No one is perfect and making all of people feel pleased is difficult. If the society expects good behavior from well-known athletes in all times, this issue will put them under a plethora of tension and pressure due to the fact they are led to be scrutinized by thousands eyes to fishing their imperfection. It may seem that this issue has beneficial influenced on children on the contrary from my point of view, not only does sports people are brought to become more isolated from society, also this will wreak havoc on them like serious psychological injuries. For instance, Wayne Rooney, a great soccer player, was put in a bad mood by social pressure as far as he was made depressed and finally he became out of condition. As idols, athletes must do vigorous exercise and tolerate prolonged hours of training, which provides a minus context to have lack of sleep and leisure times. Indeed, more training, more limitation. In addition, they used to exercise in professional sports center, banning visit their family for a long time. For example, Olympic players ought to spend their time in special camps for numerous mounts far from their family and friends. Due to the reasons are mentioned above, I would argue that being a hero due to the fact children fallow athletes all times, contribute them to the development of mental diseases and being isolated.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idol
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
person has grown in importance from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
over the past few decades,
However
, I’m in vehement disagreement with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
role model for their young’ fans.

No one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
and making all of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
is difficult. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behavior from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
will put them under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tension and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are led
to
be scrutinized
by thousands eyes to fishing their imperfection. Although it may seem that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influenced on children, by comparison, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are brought
to become more isolated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
also
this situation drives them into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious psychological injuries like depression or suicides.
For instance
, Wayne Rooney, a great soccer player,
was drawn
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
mood while he was under social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
as he
was made
depressed and
finally
he became out of condition.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idols
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do vigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
whereas they are tolerating prolonged hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, which provides a minus context to have lack of sleep and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Indeed
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, more limitation.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center while they can’t visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, Olympic players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in special camps for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mounts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends.

Due to the reasons
are mentioned
above, I would argue that being a hero
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children fallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
feel hurt mentally.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idol
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
person has grown in importance from a number of parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
over the past few decades.

However
, I’m in vehement disagreement with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
role model for their young’ fans. No one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
and making all of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
is difficult. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behavior from well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
will put them under a plethora of tension and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
due to the fact
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
they


are led


to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
scrutinized

by thousands eyes to fishing their imperfection. It may seem that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
has beneficial influenced on
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children


on the contrary


from my point of view, not

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


does sports

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


are brought


to become more isolated from society,

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also


this will wreak havoc on them like serious psychological injuries.

For instance
, Wayne Rooney, a great soccer player,

was put


in a

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad


mood by social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
as he

was made


depressed and

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
finally


he became out of condition. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idols
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
athletes


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
must


do vigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and tolerate prolonged hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, which provides a minus context to have lack of sleep and leisure times.

Indeed
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, more limitation.

In addition
, they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
used


to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center, banning visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for a long time.

For example
, Olympic players ought to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in special camps for numerous mounts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends. Due to the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reasons


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
mentioned above, I would argue that being a hero due to the fact children fallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, contribute them to the development of mental diseases and
being isolated
.
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IELTS essay Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children.

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
557 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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